(Closed) How to inform guests you don't want gifts. Suggestions?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
2430 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

The main thing is to not register anywhere, because then people who know what to get you (if anything) and might opt for a gift card or something instead.  Also, if you’re doing a wedding website something along the lines of “your presence is gift enough” or whatever to let people know you’d prefer not to recieve anything. 

And lastly, ask one of your parents if they don’t mind shipping you a box or two after the wedding because no matter how many times you say it or let people know, someone wont listen and they’ll want to get you something anyway. 

Post # 3
30402 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
MacKaylarae:  There is no polite way to say you don’t want gifts. Saying it implies that you were, in fact, expecting that your guests would get you gifts, but you want to disabuse them of that notion. You would be willing to accept cash.

If you don’t want gifts, don’t register for gifts. When people ask your family what you would like, or where you are registered, they have an opportunity to tell them that you really don’t have the room for more things at your apartment and you have to fly home. Your guests will then likely give you cash.

Post # 4
13968 posts
Honey Beekeeper

It’s not polite to write anything that makes it look as if you are thinking about gifts at all, including the fact that you don’t want them.  Just don’t register.  If people ask your friends and family they can just say that they know you are saving up for X, Y or Z. 

Post # 5
304 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

View original reply
MacKaylarae:  It is rude to ask straight up for cash (I already tried this, but my mom shut that down real quick lol). Instead, we are having a small registry (15 items for 150 attendees)  and including a honeyfund. This way, the registry will be fulfilled quickly wiht things we do indeed need, and then teh rest of the folks are forced into cash or honeyfund.  Honeyfunds are an awesome way around asking for cash straight up. 

Post # 6
1441 posts
Bumble bee

Some prefer to give cash, some do not… and will give a physical gift no matter what.  If you make those who will only give a boxed gift get creative and go ‘off registry’ you may love their gift – or hate it.  You don’t have to agree with the “I don’t give cash”philosophy, but know it’s out there. 

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 11 months ago by .
Post # 7
520 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Just let your wedding party spread the news!! – Maybe set up a honeymoon fund! I know they do that through AAA and its a pretty popular option. The younger generation will be all over it- but I know the older generation of folks just love to bring a gift to the wedding- cause thats how it is. LOL in the end its not too bad of a problem to have. .. instead of trying to fly with it all just UPS it home. 

Post # 8
180 posts
Blushing bee

View original reply
MacKaylarae:  Maybe you don’t need to say anything at all?  If I knew that the couple is flying in to get married, I’d never consider getting them an actual gift (I’d give money) since I know it’d be a pain to bring back home (no matter how small the package may be).  

Hopefully others will think along the same lines? 

Post # 9
302 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

We have this on our invites: 

What should I bring as a gift? <br />Not a thing! The most important part of our day is that we get to share it with you. However if you would like to offer a gift, a monetary gift is truly appreciated.


In Australia wishing wells are more common than not. 🙂

Post # 11
3080 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
MacKaylarae:  I’ve had two daughters marry, within the last 2 years. One had 225 guests, and the only physical gifts brough to the reception fit into a large, paper shopping bag (maybe 6?). She should have gone with a mailbox, instead of a birdcage, though, as she had tons of cards. She had registered at Bed, Bath and gifts over a certain $ had free shipping, so the other physical gifts were sent directly to her home. My other daughter had the physical gifts sent to her home, too, and a birdcage available for envelopes. There was nothing but envelopes, from her 95 guests at her reception. Just make sure no one throws you a bridal shower, in your hometown.

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