(Closed) How to invite a polyamorous person's partner(s)?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
Member
784 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

arathella:  My Fiance and I are polyamourous, sometimes we have a female in our relationship. We don’t at the moment, however I would expect that if I were out of town for something she would accompany him to an event and vice versa. But I always expect that the invites be addressed to the two of us since we are the serious, long term relationship. 

 

Post # 17
Member
244 posts
Helper bee

Option 1) Invite all 3 by name, 2) Girl Name + Guest, 3) Ask her what she’d prefer

ps: awesome. i’m approvingly intrigued by nonconformist relationships.

Post # 18
Member
7199 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

arathella:  If I didn’t want to call and ask, I would invite all three by name. She can then choose what she wants to do. (I’m glad you posted this, though. The only poly-relationship I’ve known personally were three gay men who very much functioned as a “couple”- for lack of a better word. Poly relationships where presumably everyone is straight are a whole different ballgame.)

Post # 19
Member
998 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015 - City Hall!

I’d list them all by name. 

Post # 20
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee

I put ‘Friend’ + family on my baby shower invites, for a poly relationship (2 girls + 1 guy). Not sure if there’s a poper etiquitte for that (just yet) but ask her! Say ‘hey I’m not sure how to address you guys. What do you prefer?’ – she might appreciate the acknowledgement. 

Post # 21
Member
1444 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I had a somewhat similar situation, where I wanted to invite a friend, her husband, and her boyfriend, but I just messaged her and asked her if she’d like me to invite her boyfriend (whom I only met once) in addition to her husband. And then she said you can invite him if you want but I don’t talk to him anymore because he screwed me over a little while ago. I felt so awful for not knowing that! So I just invited her and her husband. 

Post # 22
Member
2424 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: NJ

[Content moderated for TOS violation – intolerance]

Post # 23
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

You could just put “Friend + Date(s)” since date doesn’t sound like everyone and their mother is invited. Asking for clarification is always a good idea though.

Post # 24
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I am enteratined that many of the Bees who typically post on the Ettiquette threads are silent on this issue! 😉

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by  SarahLulu.
Post # 25
Member
1000 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I think asking is your best bet, or addressing all three by name. 🙂

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