(Closed) How to invite kids from out of town but not others??

posted 3 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
8517 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I’m confused. You want to encourage people to make it a mini vacation and have a family-friendly weekend, but you want to also say, “Oh except for any kid older than X. They’re not allowed, leave them at home.”

Or you want to just say to all local parents, “Nope, you can’t bring your kids even though the out-of-towners could and we have all these fun events for their kids.”

Or you want to say, “Sorry, we’ve never met your kid before, so they’re not invited.”

Just no. No no no.

Post # 3
292 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

All kids or no kids.  Sorry but it would just make you look terrible if you played favorites in this scenario.

Post # 4
4023 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - Canada

You have to invite all kids or no kids. If you have activities and things planned for the kids, I don’t understand why there’d be a hesitation to invite all the kids. 

Post # 5
2544 posts
Sugar bee

Do you mean adult ‘kids’?

I would invite people based on household in this situation. Basically anyone under 15/16 is going to be a barrier to travel (for some) so you’re better off just inviting all dependents rather than a cutoff for something like ages 16 – 18. People won’t expect you to invite their adult, independent offspring based on you inviting actual children. 

Post # 9
8517 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

View original reply
ljshakes :  Extending the invite to a couple and allowing them to bring their kids if they want to isn’t putting them in the situation of, “Oh man, now we HAVE to make sure Billy, Bobby, and Sally can all go.” If they don’t want to bring their kids, or if they only want to bring their youngest or oldest or prettiest, then that’s what they’ll do. It’s a wedding, it’s not a children’s birthday party. I’m a parent and I never feel obligated to bring my baby to adult events, even if I know it wouldn’t be a problem for the host if I did. Extending the invite isn’t a barrier—it gives people options and a choice.

Oh and if you want people to turn it into a vacation, then I don’t think allowing them to only bring their kids under 15 comes off well. Just because a 15-year-old CAN stay back and take care of themselves for a weekend, doesn’t mean the family will want to just leave him or her at home while they all enjoy this “mini vacation.”

You say you have no issue inviting all the kids, so invite all the kids.

Post # 10
8368 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

View original reply
ljshakes :  This is very easy: Everyone knows that if their kids are invited, it means the parents have the OPTION to bring them. Or if the kids are older, it’s between the kid and the parent. Nobody thinks that inviting their kids means the kids MUST come.

Invite everyone who would be welcome including kids regardless of age, and leave it up to the families to decide which ones come. 

Post # 11
1217 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
ljshakes :  I’m not a parent yet but my sister is and she seems to get invited to a lot of weddings.  Just because the invitation will allow the entire family to come, it doesn’t always mean that she brings the whole clan.  Sometimes just her and my brother in law go, sometimes she brings her kids.  It just depends on who the wedding is for.

Leave it up to the parents like a PP said.  And don’t play favorites.  All kids or none at all.

Post # 12
976 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

People will not feel obligated to bring their kids. 

Post # 15
3 posts
  • Wedding: September 2018

We put “& family” on the invites to let people know their kids were welcome to come. I think that conveys the message that the invite is to the parents, but that the kids are welcome too. Of course, that means the in town kids are still invited. 

I also think it’d be fine if the out of town kids are family, close friends, etc. I doubt your boss would be put out if you just included the adults on that invite.

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