(Closed) How to Involve Future MIL & SIL with Wedding Planning

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
54 posts
Worker bee

As a MOG I would say, you could invite her or both of them to town for a weekend to look at venues, or invitations or the dress or a hundred other things. You could narrow down the venues to a few you really want then do a revisit with the Future Mother-In-Law. Maybe even a trip to Chicago, Dallas or Atlanta to pick out bridesmaid dresses. You can also give her some ‘chores’ you might want your Maid/Matron of Honor to do. Phone calls, internet searches, etc. 

Many brides (from what I’ve seen on this site) seem to think no one’s opinion but theirs counts. You don’t seem that way at all, but I would try to convey that to your Future Mother-In-Law by asking her opinion, but not on things that you are not flexible about. If you’ve made a decision and don’t plan to alter it, don’t ask. 


Post # 4
899 posts
Busy bee

I’d like to know the same thing. I brought my Future Mother-In-Law dress shopping but that’s been in so far. I can’t tell how much she wants to be invovled, but I want her invovled. She’s paying a good portion of our wedding.

Post # 5
2188 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

I would invite them both dress shopping or to look at a venue. Maybe have some ideas for centerpieces and send them to his mom and ask her opinion (only send/show the ones you like and would be happy with any of them b/c whatever one she picks that is the one you should go with). Ask what she thinks about food etc. I guess just start asking her opinion on stuff like you would your own mother, maybe ask his sister things too. That way they will feel included, your Fiance will be happy and it’s setting the groundwork for continuing your good relationship with your Future In-Laws.

Post # 6
1589 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Oh I would love some ideas on this too. It’s tough for me b/c I’m very independant and the only thing my own mother is coming along for is the dress shopping.

Post # 7
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I had my Mother-In-Law go dress shopping with me along with my mother and my Maid/Matron of Honor.  She is VERY crafty and is doing all of my table cards, my card box, my favors, and im sure my place cards.  She is also VERY involved with my shower!  I had her look at my venue before I booked it to see if she liked it, she came to a food tasting and will be helping us create our menu, she came to my appointments for my florist (who I have to admit is like her BFF) and she also helped me get a great deal on my hotel block for my Out of Town guests. Maybe having her involved in some DIY projects , inviting her to appointments, or having her help with the shower would help?

My Mother-In-Law is very involved because I am marrying her only son, and only child so she will never get another chance to do this.  Plus its nice that she is helping and I value her opinion, a lot. 

Post # 8
167 posts
Blushing bee

@GlamBride7887:  As a mother of the groom, I found it very fun to go look for dresses with my future dil. I realized that she would really pick her dress out with her own mother, but it was fun to go looking in the beginning, and try on various dresses. 


Other ideas: If your in-laws are musical, let them give music suggestions? Could in-laws locate tablecoverings for you, find chairs rentals, or other items you’ll want? Could they help with centerpieces or written programs? 

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