Post # 1
My mom and I have gotten really close over the past few years, and she has helped me out a lot with the wedding, but everytime we talk about things she mentions that she wishes she could be more involved on the wedding day. I totally understand how she is feeling,but Im having a hard time coming up with something that she could be involved in. We are going to do a unity candle, so she will be lighting that, but that is pretty much it.
I should also mention that my parents are divorced and my dad is gets jealous sometimes when it comes to me spending time with her. I know it would bother him a lot of I had both of them walk me down the aisle, or anything else that is traditionally a dad’s job.
I apprecaite any help or ideas you can give!
Post # 3
I’m having both my parents walke me down the aisle & didn’t really ask my dad for his permission. My family is old fashioned in some ways, but they are being pretty good in respecting my wishes for the wedding. (of course, that would probably quickly change if we didn’t have a Christian wedding, but luckily I want that, too)
Could you also have your mom do a special reading?
Post # 4
I think a reading would be great. Another idea could be at the reception she could give a toast/speech? Not sure if you plan to have your Maid/Matron of Honor and Best Man do a speech but another 3-5 minutes of listening while you eat won’t kill your guests. Or possibly you could have an additional "mother-daughter dance" and dance to a fun fast song together after you do the traditional dance with your dad (if you plan to do that.)
Post # 5
Thanks for the ideas! The reading is a good idea! I will ask my mom if she would like that. She is a little shy, so Im not sure, but it’s worth a shot!
Post # 6
- Wedding: September 2009 - Harbison Chapel & The Maple Lane Farm
I’ve been to weddings where both mothers light a candle on an alter and then you and your Fiance light a candle from you respective flame to light a unity candle. I guess that’s a really small role, but if she is shy maybe she’d be into it. Also if you don’t have a DOC or even if you do, you could ask her to be the point person on your wedding day, say if the caterer has questions or whatever might come up. That’s a big role that is sort of behind the scenes and might make her feel more involved. Good luck with your wedding!
Post # 7
My cousin’s now wife was in a similar situation. She involved her mom 2 ways- First when it was tiem for the bouquet toss, instead of doig the toss, the DJ or the Bride (I forget) announced that the bride was instead giving the bouquet to her mom to honor her and everything she idd as a mom. Then they did a mother daughter dance. It was really nice, but traditional people may not be into a mom/daughter dance. The bouquet was extremely nice and the mom didn’t know about it and she was brought to tears of happiness. It was a nice moment.
Post # 8
What about having her be with you while you get ready, or having breakfast with her the morning of the wedding? Maybe she just wants to spend extra time with you, and not really do anything in particular during the wedding. My mom helped me out with DIY things and errands before the wedding, and that made her happy.
She could to the blessing before the meal, if you’re doing that.
Post # 9
Oh – or she could announce you at the reception.