(Closed) how to involve someone in the wedding you dont want in the wedding party?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3788 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I have the same problem. I have his sister and my sister left that I would like to include because they are special to us, but we’re just not close enough for them to be bridesmaids. So far I am thinking reading because I am also at a loss. We aren’t doing programs or guestbook attendants or anything like that. A few people have suggested that I ask them to sing since they both enjoy doing that, but I am too picky about talent levels for that. It might work for someone else, though.

Post # 4
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I was going to mention doing programs or guestbook, then you could also ask them to be a personal attendant, or maybe even a hostess at the reception?

Post # 5
196 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

A mutual friend of FH and I is helping with a little bit of everything. She’s helping decorate as well as helping me get ready. We asked her if she would like to do a reading, but she declined because she was afraid she would mess up. Which is fine.

She’s basically taken on the roll of General. Maid of Honor, even though she’s not in my wedding party, because she didn’t feel comfortable doing it.


Post # 6
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I had one of these people do a reading, and invited several of them to get ready with me.

Post # 7
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

My SIL has been really mean to me over the years, and doesn’t support my marriage, so my husband and I couldn’t see having her as a bridesmaid in the wedding, but we didn’t feel right completely excluding her either. We chose a special reading and let her do that.

Post # 9
643 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

My sister will not be in the wedding party (large gap in the years between us and a host of other issues) and I am giving her an “usherette” role and since she’s 16 she still thinks it’s cool to be my hair and makeup watchdog for the day through photos and everything, she will be making sure “I look my best”, whatevs!

Post # 10
1871 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Sounds like you already have an answer, but here’s my .02 supportive cents:

I was asked to do a reading in lieu of being a Bridesmaid or Best Man once and I was allowed to be wtih the bride getting ready. I found that really special all on its own (and honestly, I would have been surprised had she asked me to be a BM–we’re friends, but we’re not THAT close)

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