How to keep going when ex is being hurtful

posted 4 months ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
9736 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I didn’t read all this. Block him on everything and move on.

Post # 4
Member
53 posts
Worker bee

I definitely think you need to go no contact. At all. 

 

It’s horrible what happened to you but at least you are finding out his true character now instead of after being married.

 

You may want to switch therapists if you can’t trust yours to be objective.

Post # 7
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee

Yes, go completely no-contact. You can’t “be friends.”

Post # 8
Member
53 posts
Worker bee

It’s understandable that you are gutted over this though. It’s absolutely terrible. 🙁

Post # 9
Member
682 posts
Busy bee

BLOCK. Do it right now- Seriously. There is zero reason this person needs to be in contact with you. And get a new therapist. 

Post # 10
Member
1132 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

1. Stay off Facebook – delete the app on your phone/deactivate your account for a few months

2. Block him from calling/texting

3. Move on

You cannot keep putting yourself through this. 

Post # 11
Member
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

I read the whole post. Block him on everything.

By leaving the door open to see his posts or hear anything he had to say, you are VOLUNTEERING for more pain. If you want it to stop, you need to close the door. Get a new therapist if you can’t talk honestly to this one.

Step one: block him on everything and then delete him.

Step two: do stuff for yourself. Focus on being selfish and weird. Do all the things you didn’t do with him and RELISH it. Did you kinda hate shaving your legs? Let it grow until you want to cut it. Did you style/ cut your hair a certain way because you thought it would be more attractive to him or other guys? Get the haircut you’d try if you were stuck on an island without men. Wanna eat in bed? Have at it. If you have paid vacation, go do some odd stuff you wanna do just because: close your eyes and pick a place on your state map for a drive, check out a spa, lay out in the middle of a national park and have a good cry. Make great or terrible art. Dance like a madwoman in your underwear every day after work. Pick up an instrument at a secondhand shop and try to play it- bonus points for playing it badly. Get back to being alive. Try a bunch of shit until you feel like you again.  

I’ve been there. You’ll survive. Focus on thriving/ feeling/ filling your lungs/ living the BIG life you deserve. You’re made of the same stuff as dinosaurs and stars and really good cheese. Don’t dismiss yourself because some guy didn’t get it.

This man didn’t break you. Only you can break you— and you can shape tomorrow anyway you like. 

Today, tho? Block his ass. 

Post # 13
Member
4230 posts
Honey bee

Block him in every way, shape it form. As far as him badmouthing you, who the hell cares?  I’ll  bet most people know what he is and knew it before you.

And get rid of that ring. 

Post # 14
Member
4581 posts
Honey bee

They attack because you let them have access to attack you.  As for the why specifically does he?  Cause some people are assholes.  There really isn’t a more sophisticated reason for it.

So you cut off their access and move on by actually moving on.

You block them on all forms or social media.  You block their phone.  You block their email.  And if you have to, you change yours.  If they find an access point and actually get a message to you, you don’t indulge them and just ignore them.

And also find a new therapist.  There are loads of them out there.

Post # 15
Member
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Aw, OP… you’re sweet to an internet stranger even when you’re in pain. You’re a class act. Thank you!  

5,000 internet hugs to you!!!

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