Post # 1
Ok, it seems for the last couple of months my Darling Husband and I realtionship has gone down hill very fast. We dont seem to spend much time together even though we are home with each other at night. We often fight and fight about little and stupid things, sex is little to none last time being about 2-3 weeks ago (keep in mind we are newlyweds – wedding was three months ago), he always says he is too tired for sex. we often go to bed at seperate times. how often should sex be for normal couples? weekends are spent fighting and often times are away from each other – he does his thing, i do mine. He likes to say things that get to me and he knows extactly what to say. He knows I would like children some day and he often says he doesnt want kids, his career is more important. Idk what to think anymore. Sometimes I do like it better when I am by myself and other times I miss him even though I know he is miserable to be around. What should I do ?!
Post # 3
It’s going to sound extreme, but a relationship counsellor can really help this. We went to one to deal with some of these nagging issues, she really helped us gain perspecitve on things, appreciate each others situation and get past it. AND it was non judgemental.
Post # 4
Is it possible you two are fighting because you (one or both) feel distant — no time, no sex, not even going to bed together — and this is a way of getting attention from the other?
If I were in your situation, I’d make a nice dinner and sit down with my husband and have a conversation about what’s going on. If this is new since the wedding, maybe one or both of you had expectations that were disappointed, and now there’s some frustration?
I think you should be prepared to hear some things that may hurt you if he’s disappointed, and that you need to listen and treat his feelings as valid, rather than get defensive and argue. And likewise, if he’s getting defensive or trying to argue about your feelings, gently ask him to wait until you’re done. Depending on how bad the fighting has gotten, this may be easier if you set the tone by asking questions and letting him answer so that he sees you listening to him.
Ask questions like, “Why do you think we’ve started fighting so much lately?” and “How do you feel about our sex life?” See if you can come up with something to do together, a house project or a hobby or a sport maybe.