Post # 1
My Husband and I have been dealing with my diagnosis of Endometriosis and the ongoing health issues associated with it for the past 2 years now. It has not made our engagement/marriage thus far easy at all and has put the issue of when to ttc on both of our minds. We even went so far as to move up our wedding in order to ttc sooner, but now that the wedding is long over I’m not so sure if I’m ready.
I’m very conflicted as my rational side says we should wait until he is in a more family friendly career (he works in retail management right now), and I am working again and established in my new job, we’ve saved more money, paid down more medical bills, get to enjoy being just us (we’ve had a roommate renting a room in our house since I moved in 2.5 years ago) you get the idea… But my brain is going baby fever crazy! I dont know how to subdue it, and all the “what ifs” of maybe not being able to concieve due to Endo come into my head whenever I think of postponing ttc. I’d estimate at the very least waiting a year, but my hormones are screaming otherwise!
If you were hypothetically in my situation, or have actually been in a similar one, what would/did you do? And what makes it the “right time” to start trying? I appreciate any responses/stories as I am driving myself crazy trying to decide what would be best just talking with my husband. Thanks!
Post # 3
@Zelkara: First, talk to your husband and let him know your concerns. The last thing you want is to be stuck in a situation you regret and then one of you winds up resenting the other because there wasn’t enough discussion in the beginning.
From what I hear, there never is a “right time” to start trying. But if you feel like you could be ok with it, but don’t want the pressure, just stop using BC but don’t chart day and night like some people do. Then you can be surprised when it happens, and not freaking out about MAKING it work. Unless you want to do it that way. Either way, try to relax and have fun. And if you decide that taking some time is right for you, don’t push it.
Post # 4
@StuporDuck: I actually had that talk with him just a couple nights ago that I felt conflicted and wasn’t sure if i was actually ready but my body is telling me i am. He was very supportive and said that if i decided tomorrow that i wanted to try he would be fully on board, but that its alright and makes sense for the moment to wait too. He’s a sweetie.
Thats actually a really good idea. I had never really considered just not being on birth control and seeing what happens. I’m by nature a planner so leaving it up to fate or what have you has ever even crossed my mind before. Thanks for the suggestion!
Post # 5
I am in the exact same boat! I also have endormetriosis and newly married. I always said 1-2 years till we start trying, his plan was 2-3 but now that I am married I am even more unsure what to do. I always thought I would really want more time as a newlywed but now a little baby fever has come over me. Im conflicted because A- I want to save money, travel and have more fun before parenthood. but B- I have no idea how long it will take for me to concieve, or if it’s even possible and I don’t want to wait until we are both super ready for kids and then it just doesn’t happen. We talked about it and we decided at our year we will start trying, so I am trying to just focus and getting really healthy until then. I’m going to try and do the endometriosis diet and cut out all the things that worsen it, keep track of my cycles/ovulation better and get accupuncture more regularly so hopefully when the year rolls around It will give me the best chance possible and I will feel my best.
Post # 6
Here’s my story, hopefully it will give you some insight.
I first got married at 24. Finished college first, got a job, then got married. I had a plan. Didn’t want kids at the time. Wanted a house first. Took us 3 years to accomplish that. The baby hormones kicked in at 27 and they were ridiculous. We started TTC. Everyone said go to the fertility doc after us TTC for 2 years. I waited. Tried Clomid, didn’t work…waited some more. My ex got deployed…we waited. He got back and we went in full swing with shots/IUIs…after TTC for 6 years. We eventually divorced.
I am now remarried…now that it’s “safe” to get pregnant, I realize I have been trying for almost 9 years….which kills me. I’m to the point of giving up the thought of ever being pregnant. Because I feel I waited TOO much trying to accomplish other things.
A good friend told me (9 years ago) that there will always be a reason to “wait”. She said if it was something I wanted (like how I got the degrees, house, good job) then I should go for it. I wished I would have taken her advice…So here’s my advice, if it’s something you want…do NOT put it off…make it part of your plan. You don’t want to look back and have any regrets, especially with your fertility.
Post # 7
@mrs.stormylove: It is crappy that you have to be in the same situation I am, but I can’t tell you how reassuring it is to know that I’m not the only woman on the planet that is dealing with Endo and the ttc issues surrounding it. Too often I get in the mindset of no one understands so it is nice to know that I’m not alone in the battle. Not saying that my husband doesnt help me through it all, but he’ll never know what it actually FEELS like ya know?
@texasbee: I am truly sorry for your not being able to conceive for so long. Your post made me tear up while reading it because that is by far one of my worst fears. I can only imagine how much of a strain that puts on your emotions and your relationship with your husband. Its not much but know that your story really helped put my situation in perspective and after a VERY long and emotional talk with my guy we decided to try this winter after our anniversary, if not a bit sooner than that. Enough time to have a last hurrah this summer, and time for me to shed some much needed weight to get baby ready. But not anywhere close to the 1 to 2 year timeline I’d had in mind prior to all this. Wish you the best of luck in trying, and thank you again for sharing your story!
Ps sorry for the short novels ladies