(Closed) How to let bridesmaids pick their own mismatched bridesmaids dresses

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
693 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Tina1201:  Ooh, I feel your pain.  I did mismatched dresses, too, but they were cocktail gowns.  (Pic below because you know the work involved and I’m proud of how it turned out!)

At any rate, would it be terrible if two girls had the same dress?  With six bridesmaids, I don’t think that would really be a big deal.  You would have enough variety.  If it turns out that four bridesmaids all want the same dress, can you talk the other two into choosing the one the other four liked?

Good luck with everything.  I learned that being accommodating was a real pain in the rear! 🙂


Post # 4
47422 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Just let them each pick the dress they want. It really doesn’t matter if they all end up with the same dress or all but one  (or two, or three) have the same dress.

You told them to pick a Watters dress in Buff. Why the need to further restrict their choice now?

Post # 5
1381 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

How many people want the same dress? Can you do 2 or 3 dresses? With 6, you could have 2 or 3 girls in each dress, or even 2 in one, 2 in another, and the other two in their own dress, or four in one, two in another. Lots of options. I asked my girls to choose a top 2 or 3. We did sale so there were a TON of options, but everyone had a different top choice, so it worked out easy, lucky for me. But it doesn’t sound like first come first served is working, so I’d change that tactic.

Post # 6
5151 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Tina1201:  Can you get them all together to go try on dresses at the same time? I have 7 bridesmaids and took them all to David’s Bridal to choose their own cuts. Three ended up with one dress, two with another, and my sister has a different one and my FI’s sister has a different one. So total of 4 dresses with 7 girls. I don’t think it’s a big deal if more than one wants the same thing.

If you go all together, you can make sure that it doesnt end up being totally weird, like 6 with one dress and 1 with the other…

Post # 7
183 posts
Blushing bee

@Tina1201:  I just let them all pick whatever they wanted as long as they were the same designer/fabric/length, like you — but I wasn’t too fussed about them all picking a different one.  I have 6 bridesmaids… my two pregnant bridesmaids chose the same dress, two of the other girls both chose another dress, and then the last two each picked something different from the rest.

I’ve been in a few weddings with mismatched style bridesmaid dresses and there was never a case where everyone picked something different.  I’ve been in weddings before with a pair of the same, or even two pairs of the same, and it all came out beautifully!  The same dress can look completely different on two different people.

I wouldn’t worry about it unless like, all but one picked the same dress.

Post # 8
794 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Just let them choose their dress without restricting it to only one of each style.  That’s not really much of a choice if you do that, anyway.

Post # 9
1152 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Oh man I feel ya, I couldn’t care less about what my bridesmaids wear haha.  We started off with me saying “you guys decide what color and style you want!”.  Then they pushed me to pick a color, so I said “ok, blue!”.  Then they want specifics on what blue.  So they decided navy together.  It eventually progressed into where are now, with two of my three wanting to just order from Alfred Angelo so they’ll be cohesive and sending the color swatches to my Maid/Matron of Honor to get a dress custom made for herself.

Somehow, I went from “let’s just go shopping and buy you guys dresses at the mall!” to “let’s order real bridesmaids dresses from a bridal shop”.

Post # 10
228 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I agree with PP, so long as the designer, material, and colour is the same, let them pick the style they want.  I had mismatched, two being very similar and it was no problem.


Post # 11
283 posts
Helper bee

I can understand the stress that’s on you right now, especially if there’s a squabble going on, and I’m about to take my three girls shopping for mismatched dresses this weekend so I’m taking notes!

But honestly, as long as they don’t mind if they have the same dress I don’t think it really matters. If you had picked the dresses they would all be in the same dress anyways, so if two girls are wearing the same dress, well that just means it’s a lovely dress on both of their bodies!

I’m just letting mine run wild, I really could care less, and I’d rather they have a dress they might actually wear again than something they felt obligated to purchase just to be the same or different from everyone else. Having 3 girls, all of which are quiet and easy going, really helps.

Post # 12
2864 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@Tina1201: how did it become battle of the BMs? They go and get a watters dress in buff. It should not be this hard.

Mismatch to me means that each girl gets to wear her favorite cut / style watters dress in buff. What am I missing here?

Post # 13
20 posts
  • Wedding: April 2014

We are doing mismatched dresses, but all from the same site and all the same color. There are 6 bridesmaids, and 3 different styles of dress, so two girls will each be wearing the same one. It’s going to be lovely and I think it has helped the girls feel more confident about their choice, knowing that at least one other person is wearing the same thing. Just for what it’s worth. 🙂 

Post # 14
3723 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Tina1201:  Hi. I’m doing a similar thing except I’m letting them pick and not saying only 1 can wear this dress. They can pick whatever dress they choose in the color I dictate. I know there will be duplicates of dresses and I’m ok with that.

Post # 15
447 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@Tina1201:  I’m confused – are they fighting over dresses because there are literally a limited number of dresses available at the store? Or did you tell them no two bridesmaids can wear the same dress?

If it’s the latter, just let them wear the same dress.

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