Post # 1
- Wedding: September 2014 - Pleasantdale Chateau
Hello Bees, I really need your help! I am finding it impossible to find a dress to fit all six of my bridesmaid’s body types – what looks good on one girl, doesnt look good on the other. So I decided to let everyone pick their own dress – I told the girls it has to be Watters and in the color Buff. This way I figured they will still look cohesive. I thought this would please everyone but the girls are now killing each other over their favorite dress. It has become a compete Battle of the Bridesmaids and I don’t know how to fix it. I have told the girls to make appointments and pick the dress they want and leave a deposit, then that dress will no longer be an option for anyone else. It has become a mad dash of first-come first-served and it is not a good thing at all. What do I do??! Should i tell each girl to pick two dresses she loves and i will ultimately choose from their two choices? This is becoming a nightmare! HELP!
Post # 3
@Tina1201: Ooh, I feel your pain. I did mismatched dresses, too, but they were cocktail gowns. (Pic below because you know the work involved and I’m proud of how it turned out!)
At any rate, would it be terrible if two girls had the same dress? With six bridesmaids, I don’t think that would really be a big deal. You would have enough variety. If it turns out that four bridesmaids all want the same dress, can you talk the other two into choosing the one the other four liked?
Good luck with everything. I learned that being accommodating was a real pain in the rear! 🙂
Post # 4
Just let them each pick the dress they want. It really doesn’t matter if they all end up with the same dress or all but one (or two, or three) have the same dress.
You told them to pick a Watters dress in Buff. Why the need to further restrict their choice now?
Post # 5
How many people want the same dress? Can you do 2 or 3 dresses? With 6, you could have 2 or 3 girls in each dress, or even 2 in one, 2 in another, and the other two in their own dress, or four in one, two in another. Lots of options. I asked my girls to choose a top 2 or 3. We did sale so there were a TON of options, but everyone had a different top choice, so it worked out easy, lucky for me. But it doesn’t sound like first come first served is working, so I’d change that tactic.
Post # 6
@Tina1201: Can you get them all together to go try on dresses at the same time? I have 7 bridesmaids and took them all to David’s Bridal to choose their own cuts. Three ended up with one dress, two with another, and my sister has a different one and my FI’s sister has a different one. So total of 4 dresses with 7 girls. I don’t think it’s a big deal if more than one wants the same thing.
If you go all together, you can make sure that it doesnt end up being totally weird, like 6 with one dress and 1 with the other…
Post # 7
@Tina1201: I just let them all pick whatever they wanted as long as they were the same designer/fabric/length, like you — but I wasn’t too fussed about them all picking a different one. I have 6 bridesmaids… my two pregnant bridesmaids chose the same dress, two of the other girls both chose another dress, and then the last two each picked something different from the rest.
I’ve been in a few weddings with mismatched style bridesmaid dresses and there was never a case where everyone picked something different. I’ve been in weddings before with a pair of the same, or even two pairs of the same, and it all came out beautifully! The same dress can look completely different on two different people.
I wouldn’t worry about it unless like, all but one picked the same dress.
Post # 8
Just let them choose their dress without restricting it to only one of each style. That’s not really much of a choice if you do that, anyway.
Post # 9
Oh man I feel ya, I couldn’t care less about what my bridesmaids wear haha. We started off with me saying “you guys decide what color and style you want!”. Then they pushed me to pick a color, so I said “ok, blue!”. Then they want specifics on what blue. So they decided navy together. It eventually progressed into where are now, with two of my three wanting to just order from Alfred Angelo so they’ll be cohesive and sending the color swatches to my Maid/Matron of Honor to get a dress custom made for herself.
Somehow, I went from “let’s just go shopping and buy you guys dresses at the mall!” to “let’s order real bridesmaids dresses from a bridal shop”.
Post # 10
I agree with PP, so long as the designer, material, and colour is the same, let them pick the style they want. I had mismatched, two being very similar and it was no problem.
Post # 11
I can understand the stress that’s on you right now, especially if there’s a squabble going on, and I’m about to take my three girls shopping for mismatched dresses this weekend so I’m taking notes!
But honestly, as long as they don’t mind if they have the same dress I don’t think it really matters. If you had picked the dresses they would all be in the same dress anyways, so if two girls are wearing the same dress, well that just means it’s a lovely dress on both of their bodies!
I’m just letting mine run wild, I really could care less, and I’d rather they have a dress they might actually wear again than something they felt obligated to purchase just to be the same or different from everyone else. Having 3 girls, all of which are quiet and easy going, really helps.
Post # 12
@Tina1201: how did it become battle of the BMs? They go and get a watters dress in buff. It should not be this hard.
Mismatch to me means that each girl gets to wear her favorite cut / style watters dress in buff. What am I missing here?
Post # 13
We are doing mismatched dresses, but all from the same site and all the same color. There are 6 bridesmaids, and 3 different styles of dress, so two girls will each be wearing the same one. It’s going to be lovely and I think it has helped the girls feel more confident about their choice, knowing that at least one other person is wearing the same thing. Just for what it’s worth. 🙂
Post # 14
@Tina1201: Hi. I’m doing a similar thing except I’m letting them pick and not saying only 1 can wear this dress. They can pick whatever dress they choose in the color I dictate. I know there will be duplicates of dresses and I’m ok with that.
Post # 15
@Tina1201: I’m confused – are they fighting over dresses because there are literally a limited number of dresses available at the store? Or did you tell them no two bridesmaids can wear the same dress?
If it’s the latter, just let them wear the same dress.
Post # 16
- Wedding: September 2014 - Pleasantdale Chateau
Thanks so much for all of the responses!
Let me get more into detail on what is going on here. I picked a few dresses that i loved and two of my bridesmaids (who I will call the Bridesmaidzillas lol) hated every one. I have 6 bridesmaids and a Maid/Matron of Honor. My Maid/Matron of Honor is wearing her own dress. My 6 bridesmaids – 3 of them are very thin and three of them are curvy (one plus-size, two girls that have curves). The bridesmaidzillas are the two girls with curves – they hated everything i picked so I decided to take them with me and try to find a dress that they liked. We finally found one that they liked after going to a million different stores (mind you I am in law school and have a whole wedding to plan lol). Unfortunately, the dress they picked didnt come in the color I want but they had a very similar dress in the same brand that did come in my color. I called them and told them I made a switch to the very similar dress and sent them pics. They freaked out and said they hated it and that it was a fat suit. I brought one of my thin bridesmaids to try it on and it actually was not very flattering on her (i picked it because it worked well for the bridesmaidzillas who had curves). I realized it wasnt going to look very good on my three thin girls and I was picking it strictly for the curvy girls who hated it anyway! So after two sleepless nights I decided to let them pick their own dress. I pinned about 20 choices for them see a couple of options and told them they can pick any dress that came in my color from the watters website. What wound up happening? The bridesmaidzillas both chose the same dress – and get this – it is the original dress i chose that they hated and said was a fat suit! I feel like there is no pleasing these two girls and I just do not know what to do. I do not really want five of my bridesmaids in all different dresses and just these two in the same dress – I feel like that is wierd. But I do not know how to tell one of them they cant have it and let the other have it – that seems unfair and harsh. WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO DO!!!??