(Closed) How to let his ex-girlfriend know we're engaged

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 31
Member
251 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

My vote is to do nothing. In fact, all social media should be set to “private” at this point. I’m pretty sure you have friends, of friends of friends and she will find out. Sorry–I just can’t deal with this type of drama. Personally, I’d laugh and carry on with my happy life! Good luck though!

Post # 32
Member
9540 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

You should have put the AIDS and creep craigslist ad on your original message. I was on my phone and skipped them, I’m sure others did as well. That significantly changes things

Post # 34
Member
554 posts
Busy bee

OK, get over this desire to rub anything in anyone’s face.  That is not what getting engaged is about.  At all.

Post # 35
Member
30 posts
Newbee

I honestly wouldn’t go out of my way to let her know I were engaged. I’d blow it up in her face with photos from the wedding. Then she can’t screw that up.

Post # 36
Member
9667 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

jassy.uhlin:  I sympathize- my FIs ex did not give up till we got engaged. It was obnoxious. But trust: she will find out about the proposal. Her friends will be calling her and asking if she’s okay/to stir up trouble. She’ll see on FB. You needn’t go out of your way. I didn’t.

But the next time we ran into her I was sure to brush my hair from my face with my left hand… Slowly…and repeatedly lol. 

Post # 37
Member
1126 posts
Bumble bee

That is disgusting that she made up that you had AIDS…although you say she is normal in day to day life, I’m sure people realise she is insanely jealous of you, especially when they realise half the stuff she says about you is fictional. I must admit though it would get to me too, telling people you have AIDS is the same as telling people you have Cancer. Its wishing a potentially fatal illness on you. It’s impossible to ignore things like that.

In terms of rubbing it in her face, its pretty obvious she will find out if she’s always snooping on your facebook and I think finding it out that way will have the same result as if you went out of your way to tell her yourself. So I don’t think there’s really a lot you can do to specifically make it any worse for her.

I hope she eventually moves on and you can lose this negative in your life.

Post # 38
Member
257 posts
Helper bee

I don’t know the background here. It if she’s as unhinged as you say then she’d probaly only see your engagement as an instigation for more challenge anyway. The best revenge is to live a good and happy life… I know that’s probably not the answer you wanted but don’t pick up a hot coal with the intention of throwing it at someone else, you’ll only hurt yourself (that’s a quote of sorts but I can’t remember who to attribute it to)! Take her power away by not acknowledging her.

Post # 39
Member
1582 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I just posted something about how I got depressed that everyone else’s lives are better than mine on Faceboon ( I know…grass is always greener kind of thing). But if you stoop to that level, you’re going to be just like her, miserable and cruel. If it’s really as bad as everything is, go to the police and get a lawyer. But don’t be mean just to be mean. That’s not good for your complexion. 

Post # 40
Member
498 posts
Helper bee

I’m not sure that I follow….Why do you have to tell her at all? She’s an ex ….

I definitely don’t keep in contact with my exes, and I ABSOLUTELY don’t give them individual updates on my life. Tell the people close to you that you’re engaged, celebrate and be happy. If she finds out, she finds out. I wouldn’t care less if my ex found out or how he found out that I’m engaged. Just saying

Post # 41
Member
462 posts
Helper bee

I would block her on social media for safety reasons. She sounds like she has issues and if she’s crossed the line compromising your safety when you’re just his girlfriend, imagine what she might feel compelled to do after she finds out you’re engaged!!

My Fiance had a very brief thing with a girl who turned out to be legitimately crazy. After he broke things off with her she did crazy things TO him and spread disgusting lies; after he and I got together she sent him threats CCing me in. We blocked her from social media straight away but as it comes up to the wedding we’ve asked FI’s best man who’s still FB friends with crazy girl (not because he’s actual friends with her but because he maintaining his FB friend list is not on his radar) to delete her from FB. We were worried that as best man would be tagged in wedding pictures and events that she’d see it and do something horrendous. Never underestimate what a cray-cray person will do. You can’t predict their behaviour if you can’t relate to it!

Post # 42
Member
33 posts
Newbee

This is immature and stupid. Is it more important that you’re going to marry the love of your life or stoop to someone else’s level and brag? If it’s the latter, you should probably re-think your engagement. 

Post # 43
Member
2974 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

She sounds insane. Up until I read the AIDS and Craigslist thing I was going to suggest just being obnoxiously lovey dovey on social media. 

‘Cant wait to be this hunks wife in #253days’

‘Booked our venue! gonna be his Mrs in no time’

‘Went dress shopping with my mom today, now I have my perfect man and a perfect dress’

 

type stuff. 

But the last thing you want to do is give her ANY information about your wedding. 

Set your social media to private and block her if possible. Definitely follow up on taking legal action.

Post # 44
Member
523 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

The urge to “rub your happiness in her face” may trigger a whole new wave of wedding-related pranks from her- Escort services calling you about those strippers for his bachelor party, the bakery wondering why you cancelled your cake order at the last minute…

Try to take the long view on this one.

Post # 45
Member
530 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

jassy.uhlin:  ugh, sorry to go there, but i’m wondering if your fiance is keeping the fire alive with his ex.  You say that she’s otherwise normal and well-functioning….

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