Post # 1
After three dates- how would you let someone down?
Someone who I thought was a friend began dating my brother and after a few dates just stopped answering her phone. It was sort of out of no where. Seeing how confused he is as he thought they hit it off ( he doesn’t know she’s dating two other people and neither did I until yesterday) I’m wondering if this is the new norm? My brother said it has happened to his guy friends too.
Post # 3
I think a call would be okay if the relationship hasn’t gone on for that long; otherwise, in-person is best. (However, I ended my last relationship via phone even though it was long-term–two years–because there was abuse involved and I wanted to be safe.)
Post # 4
It depends. I have a friend who is still single but dates frequently so we analyze what she should do every time. If it was only a couple dates, disappearing into thin air is the best way to break it off. But if it’s been over a month, some kind of phone call or email is necessary. You don’t have to explain yourself, but just say that you dont’ think it’s working out and you wish him the best. That way they aren’t so blindsided, because obviously if you’ve made it to a month it’s getting serious.
Post # 5
@moderndaisy: i agree with you. i totally pulled the “fade away….” if i had only been out with someone a few times.
Post # 6
I would say after three dates fading away normally would be somewhat ok but if you knew her before then she should have at least called.
Post # 7
Yeah, I generally have done the “fade away” (nice term blondeebuckeye!) if has only been a couple dates here and there. I feel like sometimes it’s more awkward to have the, I’m just not that into you conversation…I think it opens up too many doors. I personally would prefer the fade away to happen to me also. I think it would be weird if a guy was like, umm yeah, you’re just not right for me, but thanks for trying! I don’t know. I’m AWFUL at dating and being forward about these types of things so just letting it fizzle out is the easiest in my opinion.
Post # 8
In my experience, they just never called me and when I called, they never answered. It would be so much easier for them to just be upfront instead of saying 1 thing and doing another. If they would have said we suck together, I wouldn’t have embarrassed myself by even trying to reach him.
Post # 9
i voted text, but i would be more likely to email
Post # 10
Hearing your answers is really great- I could care less she doesn’t like him- but I’m not fond of how she dropped off the face of the planet after letting him take her out [see: pay for everthing] a few times. But I see it’s a tricky situation.
Post # 11
I’ve done it before… but the guy deserved it. He was nothing but rude on our date. He made fun of my religion (he’s conservative Jew and I’m reform, and he said I’m not a “real” Jew), gay people (two of my best friends are gay), adoption (I’ve always loved the idea of adopting, and the list goes on! Then he had the nerve to ask me on a second date, and get upset when I didn’t return his call or text. Then he finally texted “what did I do wrong?” Well where do I start!
But if he’s a nice guy, no. I would never do that. My line was always, “I think you’re really nice, but I’m just not feeling any sparks.” Generic and lame, but it’s hard to dump people!