(Closed) How to let them know THEY have to pay… destination wedding question

posted 10 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 3
Member
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2009

hmm that is a toughie, perhaps you can include something on the website with your plans and the price ranges. Most people can take a hint when they see a price, it means its their dollar.  OR invite them casually, like the week beforehand and mention its location and price range. 

Post # 4
Member
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2007

our friends are having a sunday brunch, they worded it as: "bride" and "groom" will be having brunch sunday at 10am. if you would like to see us one last time before we leave town please call the restaurant to make a reservation and ask to be seated near us so they can make appropriate accomodations"

maybe this will help you! 

Post # 5
Member
78 posts
Worker bee

Also, since you don’t have many guests, maybe your parents and wedding party can help spread information by word of mouth.

Post # 6
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2007

I think psu01’s suggestion is the best one.  personally, I’d be mildly mildly offended by a program that listed price ranges.  it may be menu info, but it sounds like admission price to hang out with you even if it isn’t.

Post # 7
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Spreading it by word of mouth sounds like your best option. I agree with Ms. Popcorn — if not offended I’d at least be a little put off by a price schedule.

Post # 8
Member
7 posts
Newbee

I think word of mouth is also the best bet. If you’re not paying for these events, they’re not officially part of the weekend and probably don’t warrant a spot on a printed "schedule of events". I’d keep it to a casual verbal invitation: "Tonight we thought we’d grab drinks at Bar X, everyone’s invited."

Post # 9
Member
1423 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

The only problem with the word of mouth suggestion is that word of mouth doesn’t always get around.  If only 25 people are going to be there, they’ll probably all be pretty close to the couple.  In that case, it seems like the chance of offending them by suggesting they’ll have to pay for their own breakfast, etc, if they come to breakfast is much less than the chance they’ll be disappointed if they miss an oppurtunity to hang out with you.  If breakfast, etc. is not hosted, they’d already have to pay for it, and most would rather spend more time with the happy couple than eat alone. 

Something akin to the wording suggested by psu01 would work wonderfully.

 

Post # 10
Member
230 posts
Helper bee

As a bride, I wondered how to let people know that we were (or weren’t) paying for things, and as a guest, I’ve wondered if I would or wouldn’t have to pay for things. I appreciate knowing what’s going on ahead of time, and I wouldn’t find it at all offensive or off-putting if there was a clear but gentle indication that guests have to pay for certain things.

 

Post # 11
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2007

I believe it is officially called a "no host" event.  We put the lunch the next day on the list of events as a "no host brunch at such-and-such restaurant starting around 11 am – we would love it if you joined us."

Post # 12
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

I think not paying for a breakfast the day of is fine but if you are asking people to travel for your wedding…you really should host a welcome/rehearsal dinner. Maybe rework the budget a bit to be able to cover this or something. I think if I were asked to pay to travel to a wedding and then also pay for every meal there (with the exception of the reception) I might be a bit miffed. Asking guests to foot the bill at the rehearsal is a bit tacky, if you ask me. 

Post # 13
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

"No host" is the correct term.  And while you can let people know that there are "no host" events throughout the weekend, I wouldn’t officially call one of those events the Rehearsal Dinner, and I wouldn’t officially "invite" your guests to these events.  Maybe an informal note included with the invitation, and listing the various "no host" events that you have planned – or even a page in a general information packet that you send to them discussing accomodations and such.  I generally agree with arm87 that if you’re not hosting the breakfast or dinner, your guests pretty much have the option to attend or not, as they like.  On the other hand, as your guests, I’m sure I would understand – just because you’re inviting me to a Destination Wedding doesn’t imply that you’re offerring to pick up the cost of all the meals. 

Post # 14
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

I have to agree with Mrs.Spitzer,  I think if you’re having a destination wedding and everyone is flying in, it’s polite to have another hosted event.  It may not be required by etiquette, but I think I’d be a little miffed. 

Post # 16
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I sent an email to my 30 guests for the weekend lineup and this is what I said:

Friday, November 7th

Nothing "official" planned. Assuming you will be able to arrive in time for dinner, let’s grab a bite, drink beer, and celebrate being legally single for one last night!

Then I’m spreading the word that we’re not having a rehersal dinner, that we’ll be at such and such place if they want to eat! We are paying for Brunch assuming people are still around.

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