(Closed) How to listen to a friend?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Maybe you should give yourself some space from her, since you hang out with her a ton. Hang out with other friends some. This way, maybe it can act as a buffer against her whining when you see her and it’s easier for you to handle when it’s in small doses.

If you really value her as a friend, that’s what I would suggest, just limit the time you spend with her. Or perhaps hang with mutual friends together so you don’t have to deal with it alone?

If you don’t value her as a friend, then I would eventually distance myself to a point where you don’t see her at all.

Hope I helped a little! I know friends like that can be frustrating.

Post # 4
Member
1211 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I have, or should I say, had a friend like this. I couldn’t stand it and after a while I stopped talking to her It’s a shame, but it’s a draining listening to someone bitch constantly! I reccomend getting some space. If you really want to keep this friendship alive, be honest. You don’t have to be mean! One time, some one said to me, “Man, MrsMonkey, I’m sorry you’re stressed…but you’re really bumming me out! Let’s focus on something happy, ok?” That snapped me right out of it. 

Post # 5
Member
631 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I went through some group counseling awhile back. It basically taught me to retrain how I think. I tend to overreact and get stressed for nothing. When I would talk about how terrible, stressful, impossible some person or situation was my counselor would calmly say “is it” terrible, awful, the end of the world. At first I defended my position and then slowly I changed my way of thinking.

My aha moment came the day I drove past my exit on the turnpike because I was enjoying the fall foliage. One hundred miles later I arrived and it wasn’t the end of the world.

When your friend goes off on a rant, maybe try this technique with her. Worked on my husband.

Post # 6
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I like what Pam above says. Try that. We all have someone in our life with this problem. Hopefully I’ll remember it myself!

Post # 8
Member
631 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I know it’s a challenge. Here’s a simple example. How many times have you called yourself an idiot because you did something as miss an exit or some other minor error. Next time, challenge it. Say to yourself- “am I really an idiot because I made a wrong turn”. The key is to be completely calm and non-confrontational when you try this.

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