- 4 years ago
I’m having a bit of an issue. Three months ago I moved to Australia from the US. My fiance and I got married just before leaving, but it was small and private with the intentions of coming back in a couple of years for a big traditional ceremony and whatnot. When we first arrived here, we got a pretty small one bedroom apartment, but now that our contract is coming to an end we wanted to find somewhere bigger and more affordable now that we know our way around some.
My husband works for a company where everyone is very close and helps each other out. When his boss heard that we were looking for a new place, he asked how we felt about moving in with another couple into a four bedroom house. Given the right person and situation, we would be open to anything. The girl was another collegue of my husbands (although he didn’t know anything about her because there are in different departments) and her boyfriend. We went to see the house and meet the landlords on a Friday night (who were AMAZING and lived next door) and fell head over heels in love with the place and them. The were four rooms of all different sizes: a very large room with built in robes, a sort of big room with a fire place, a medium sized room with built in robes, and a tiny room. We sort of figured two couples, two rooms each, after all, half the rent, half the space. We haven’t met them yet but thought it would be fair that whoever got the largest room would also get the smalled room, then the other couple would get the two medium sized rooms.
We spent the entire weekend trying to get in contact with the other couple and heard nothing from them until Sunday night. When my husband talked to the girl and began discussing things, the first thing she said was “We’re taking the big room.” That was it, no discussion. We arranged to meet them after work on Monday and go over everything else. They were moving on Monday, we are moving in on Friday, so we obviously wanted everything put out there. Immediately upon meeting them, I can tell I’m going to be uncomfortable. The girl is 28 and acts like she’s 18. The guy is 30, unemployed, and smokes weed. The first thing I noticed when we came over what that there stuff was EVERYWHERE, including the bigger of the two rooms we would be taking. They promised it would be sorted by the time we moved in. When I brought up the second bedroom and told them I needed a room with robes for our cloths and also needed to set up an office for myself (sometimes I work from home, I also write and paint), she gets a look on her face and says, “Well, I guess we can put the kids’ bunkbed in that small room if you really need that room. I didn’t realize we were dividing this house in two.” What?!
We’d known before that he had two young kids and she had one kid, but they lived somewhere else. We were told prior to the arrangement that they would visit every two weeks for a day visit. Okay, that’s fine. In honesty, I hate kids, I can’t stand to be around them, and I certainly don’t want them in my space. When we asked about this Monday night when we first learned about this, they told us they would have the kids during the day on Monday, Wednesday, and over the weekend. We were shocked. She explained that they couldn’t see their kids much because of issues with space, but now that they are in a large house they can be around more often. They’re 2, 3, and 6, so they aren’t even old enough to know better and keep themselves occupied without having to be montiored all the time. I suddenly felt like we were only there to pay for half the bills so they can live in this house with no consideration that they were sharing the space with another CHILDLESS couple.
I’m growing really anxious about this arrangement. These two don’t seem very responsible, which I wouldn’t mind except for the kid part. I’m not going to be home most of the time these kids are around, I will have little control over whether or not they are in my room, how they are treating my cat, or if they will be respectful of the commons areas. I don’t want to see toys, I don’t want to hear crying, I don’t want for a child to bother me and not understand I need to be left alone. This isn’t a visit every two weeks, this is living with us part time.
My husband wants to see how this will be before we make an issue out of this. I agree that it might not be so bad, but I have a bad gut feeling about this and I don’t know what to do. This was sprung on us, the landlords, and my husband’s boss who made the arrangement, so for the most part people are supportive of our comfort needs over theirs. But how much do I compromise my comfort levels? I know having roommates means you will have to make compromises, but I’m not dealing with grown ups here. If the arrangment doesn’t work out, is it out of line to ask them to not have their kids come around? Who would be the ones to leave the living arrangment if it doesn’t work out? We love the house, we’ve become friends with the landlords, and we love the area. We didn’t come into this arrangement with any misconceptions, so how do we proceed forward with a healthy living environment? I don’t want this to cause stress on a new marriage, a new career, and a new home. Please give me some advise!