(Closed) How to Live with A Roommate You Suddenly Are Questioning With Your New Husband

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 46
4204 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - Canada

NO NO NO NO NO! Don’t do it, you will 100% regret it. I would tell the landlord that what you had been told about the other tennants isnt quite true, and you aren’t comfortable living with them. I’d be totally honest about why! You don’t owe the other couple anything, and the landlord should know exactly who is living in their house.

I definitely wouldnt be moving in with this couple, regardless of how nice the house is. And no, you cant dictate how often, and where, these parents get to see their kids.


Post # 48
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

If you haven’t moved in yet, they may let you out of your lease. Once you move in, it’ll be significantly harder.

Post # 49
7638 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
JellyBean44:  Even though I’m a mum myself, this has “disaster” written all over it. The lifestyle differences when you have young kids are soooooooo different. (His previous situation was not the same because he was in a relationship with the child’s mother so he had some degree of influence on how the child was handled. In this situation though there are kids you have no control over and their parents are strangers).

I suggest you make it 100% clear to the landlord (FI’s boss, right?) that this is a temporary arrangement only and you will be moving out as soon as possible. He hasn’t been honest with either couple. Spend every waking moment looking for a new place. 

Post # 50
1221 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

View original reply
JellyBean44:  If you’re planning on staying for a few weeks and looking for other options, you might want to communicate that to the landlords and your future roommates. That’s pretty soon for them to have to find a replacement for you.

Post # 51
483 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think you are crazy to even move into this disaster for even a couple of weeks!!! 

Post # 52
194 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: mountain venue

dont put those children in a hostile living environment, find a new place. seriously, you think after entering into the rental agreement knowing full well that kids will be around that later asking them not to have their kids around is a valid question? the couple with kids sound like dummies but you sound miserable and bitter already..dont move in.

Post # 53
514 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Stevens Estate

Omg get out while you can..I would never be able to live in a house with 3 kids that weren’t mine…and I like kids! You will be miserable. There are plenty of other places to live. 


Post # 54
1246 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
JellyBean44:  Don’t do it! Even for one day. You don’t want to get sucked in to an arrangement you don’t want. Better to be homeless for a few weeks. 

Post # 55
755 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

Don’t move in there – and if you’re already in then GET OUT AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!!! The people sharing your house sound like a disaster. Have you signed any type of lease agreement? 

Post # 56
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

View original reply
JellyBean44:  Get room locks. You MUST be able to lock your room!!!!!!! This will spare you a lot of heartache. Start looking for another place. There is nothing wrong with looking – you will feel so much better if you have a backup plan!

I stayed in a house with weedsmokers – they would set off smoke detector alarms in the middle of the nigh and not even be aware it was happening.

This does not sound like a house share, this is you two moving in with a family with 3 kids. Absolute nighmare. I hope the house has more than one bathroom!!!


But I will repeat myself on the door locks. If your door is not locked when you are gone you will never be sure if anyone rummaged through your things!

Post # 57
699 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
JellyBean44:  not sure how many Aussies you know… But I wouldn’t say the ‘lots’ are ‘party people’ who are ok with pot. Especially landlords! No need to put us all down because you know some jerks.

I do understand why you considered it, housing prices being what they are. But this is not something I would move in to. Have you signed a lease? If not, do not. Both these people sound like wastes of space. Their kids will be horrible. They will be all over your things and your cat. Do not move in. The adults can’t discipline themselves, they won’t discipline their children.

Post # 58
229 posts
Helper bee

I’m torn on this. I see your point and theirs. 


You and your new hubby are entiteld to privacy and alone time, which is going to be hard to get with roommates let alone kids. 

On the other hand you can’t brand kids with the same brush. Some are spoilt uncontrolled brats who wouldn’t think twice about invading your space. Others are sweet angels and may be very respectful and keep out the way. Either way you can not ask them not to see thier children, it would be like them asking you not to see your new hubby.


I wouldnt tolerate the weed smoking. I would make it clear that if they wish to do this they do it elsewhere not in the communal area’s. 


What about sexy time? I mean would you be comfortable throwing the passions with your new Husband, knowing thier was another couple next door and even kids accossionaly. They may hear you. Or you hear them. 


Is there two bathrooms? Do want to be bumping into the male roommate at 2am half dressed? Or having to flush after potty training or messy kids?


What do you picture your evenings doing? Is it watching a film snuggeld on the sofa with Hubby, perhaps cooking a romatic dinner? Because if it is, that’s not going to happen with another couple also wanting the same thing or doing this whilst their doing the ABC’s with the kids in the corner?

6. What about food factor? Are you comfortable knowing that food going missing is likely to happen? Or even cooking meals? There will be to people trying to cook two meals in the kitchen 2 to 3 times a day. 

I think you and Hubby need to list all the pro’s and cons and questions you have for the landlord such as.  If they don’t pay their rent does it effect you? What happens with deposites and whos liable for damages ect.. After you do this, go out look at further properties and compare to this house. Then if your still got your heart set on this place, make sure you have rules set in place between you, roomies and landlord and you also have a escape route. 

I understand having to take two steps back for more space. Me and my SO had to move out of our rented 1 bedroom cottage because we found out we’re pregnant and we’re saving for a house. We now live with his parents. It’s a tough sacrifice, but we have our own bedroom, bathroom and the spare room is going to baby. We eat al as a family and me and Mother-In-Law take it in turn to cook. If I see a mess I clean it up in order to pull my wieght. So far its a good relaxing situation. 

Good Luck 🙂 and keep us updated xx


Post # 59
6033 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State


JellyBean44:  You are adults. Get your own place and save yourself the hassle. This doesn’t sound like a situation that’s going to work out well for anyone involved. I’m not sure I would be able to live with roomates if I was married and grown. Time to start looking for another place.

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