Post # 1
I am the Maid/Matron of Honor for my best friend’s wedding and she and all of the bridesmaids are going to an all inclusive resort for her bachelorette party. Because of the cost the other bridesmaids were not comfortable splitting the bride’s trip (she also didn’t want us to since we are paying to go international.) So I am now looking for ideas on how to make her feel special while at an all inclusive. Note, we will not be leaving the resort (this is at the request of the groom) so the idea of treating her to a dinner or bar night out, is not possible.
I am planning on buying her all her stuff to wear at the resort so she stands out and feels special. I am also buying all the bridesmaids matching coverups so we can do fun photos (which By The Way, does the Maid/Matron of Honor typically pay for the matching stuff for the other Bridesmaids?) I’m offering, b/c again, the cost of the trip was steep for some of the girls and I feel bad asking them to pay for this, but am curious if other MOHs have also paid for all the “goodies” for BMs/guests.
Anyway, we are also going to do a game night all about her and the groom and a panty party, but curious if yall have any other ideas to make her feel special.
Post # 2
- Wedding: July 2021 - British Columbia, Canada
I was co-MOH for my best friend’s wedding in December and paid for the entire shower and bachelorette (with the exception of the other girls’ drinks/food when we went out to some bars and for lunch). Had the subject of any required extras such as matching outfits come up, unless discussed with and agreed upon by all of the other girls, I would have absorbed the cost for my own ideas. You’re being an awesome friend by wanting to make it special for her, but honestly the fact that you’re all going on an all-inclusive international vacation together to celebrate her marriage is plenty special all on its’ own.
Post # 3
If you have the money then you should pay for the extra things for the bridesmaids. They are already paying for the trip like you said.
To help make her feel special, everyone can take a turn talking about their favorite memory with the bride.
Maybe you could ALL play the part of the groom for something like the newlywed game and see “who knows the bride best” I put that in quotes because it should all be in good fun and not a competition over who is a better/closer friend.
Post # 4
You won’t even do an excursion or something? Has everyone been to this area? While yes, it is a bachelorette trip, if people want to venture off resort they should be able to, and not be tied down to 24/7/7 itinerary.
Doesn’t the fact that all the bridesmaids paid hundreds/thousands of dollars to attend this party for the bride not make her feel special? I would definitely NOT be asking them to pay for more stuff. If YOU as Maid/Matron of Honor want to treat her, maybe a spa day or something?
Post # 5
peekaboobs : I like this! I, the girls and the bride are all about fun games, so this sounds like fun! Thanks!
Post # 6
The groom requested you don’t leave the resort? Okay that’s super weird.
I don’t think you need to pay for things to make the bride feel special, I would organise games for the evenings etc. Maybe make a book of old pictures, playing a mr&mrs game where you record the groom is always fun.
“I am planning on buying her all her stuff to wear at the resort so she stands out and feels special.”
Won’t she want to pick her own stuff to wear for the trip? Personally I wouldn’t want someone to pick a bunch of stuff for me to wear, I would want to get my own.
Post # 7
The mere fact that her nearest and dearest are paying a small fortune to travel in her honor should be enough to make her feel special.
Many all inclusive resorts have restaurants, bars and clubs that, for an additional fee, are an upgrade from the basic choices.
Post # 8
A few comments here..
1. What do you mean when you say you won’t be leaving the resort “at the grooms request”?
That seems really weird to me. If I was paying good money to go spend a week at an all-inclusive resort, I would like to have the option of going our on an excursion or two. There is only so much lounging by the pool drinking mai-tais one can handle.
The fact that he would have such a request strikes me as really controlling and possessive. I can kind of understand if the resort is in an otherwise dangerous area, perhaps him giving the suggestion that you don’t go off-site. But if it’s a “I don’t want you out and about in a party town” thing, that would bother me BIG TIME.
2. You don’t need to do anything extra to make her feel special. You’re all dropping hundreds (thousands?) of dollars taking a girls vacation with her specifically to celebrate her upcoming wedding… that is more than enough.
3. If you do insist on any extras then, yes, you should pay for them.
Post # 9
zzar45 : I like the book idea. And I meant her bridal bachelorette stuff (veil, hat, sash, etc) not her clothes for the trip 🙂
Post # 10
AnnieAAA : I’m confused. The fact that you’re all there for her party is not enough to make her feel special? Even given the cost in money, time, PTO, etc that everyone is giving up to be there for her? Someone needs to spend even more money, specifically on her rather than on getting themselves to her party, in order for it to count? That’s bizarre to me.
Wait, not even the panty party in her honor is enough to make her feel special? ….. i don’t……
Post # 11
This already sounds way OTT to me so if she doesn’t feel special than that’s a her problem. You’re going above and beyond already
Post # 12
So we’re to the point where friends agreeing to spend time and money on an international resort vacation for a bachelorette party is not “special” enough?
That said some resorts and all inclusives are not in very safe areas. The groom is not necessarily being controlling to make that kind of request.
It’s also possible the bride herself is not comfortable going off the premises and is using the groom as an easy excuse in case some of her friends wanted to be more adventurous.
Post # 13
This has all been taken out of context. The bride is beyond grateful for everyone making the effort to come to her party, I am as the Maid/Matron of Honor also grateful that everyone is making the effort too. For the bride, just the girls coming, is more than enough.
What I mean by special is like what some have suggested about games, or a book of photos, small touches that we can do to not make it feel only like a girls vacation. So I’m looking for ideas along these lines.
Post # 14
One of my friends as a moh did a kiss memory frame. We took a group picture and then she got a picture frame and white mat. Everybody put on their favorite lip stick and kissed the white mat board so the brides picture was framed with our kisses and signatures. It was cute and girly.
Usually when I host, I gift the attendees T-shirt’s and a bag of goodies ( Advil, water, hand sanitizer etc). I also provide supplies for any games and a photo album of the trip or picture of the night for a keepsake.
If people offer or suggest T-shirt’s during the planning process then sometimes they have chipped in, but I never ask.
Post # 15
For my sister’s bachelorette, I asked everyone to submit throw back pictures of them with her. Some of them went all the way back to elementary school. We hung them up all over her room. That didn’t cost anything, but definitely made her feel special.