How to make dad like boyfriend?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
6161 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

You’ve asked your father to give your boyfriend another chance and he’s agreed. Just go and be present for what happens. If things go really well- great. If your boyfriend gets nervous again are you going to break up with him because he can’t be charming and schmooze your father on schedule? No. You love him and want to be with him and you’re hoping your father can see what you love about him. But even if he doesn’t- as a grown woman, you make your own life choices- a fact that can be incredibly freeing.

Rather than worrying about your father, I’d say you should tell your partner that you love him and want to be with him and you want your father to see all of these wonderful qualities that you see. But even if he’s the most awkward guy around your father for the duration of your relationship – you love him and he doesn’t need to impress your father- just be himself to the best of his ability in the face of his anxiety.

Post # 3
Hostess
9630 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL

Order a martini. Good luck, bee.

Post # 4
Member
2019 posts
Buzzing bee

Also, how old are you and your bf?

Post # 5
Member
828 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Yeah I need an age to accurately give advice…

….CAN you order a martini?

Post # 7
Member
6806 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

papayagirl :  Unfortunately you cannot force your dad to like your bf. Your dad said he’d give him another try and so you’ll have to just see how it goes. Do they have any similar interests or hobbies you can bring up at dinner?

Post # 8
Member
929 posts
Busy bee

Hmmm…I think that you should def bring your bf around more so he can get use to being around your family. The more comfortable he becomes, hopefully the less anxious and awkward the situation will be. A lifetime together means many family events and you would want everyone to be equally comfortable with eachother. Maybe you should also try to see the situation through your father’s eyes. Pull your head outta the clouds from Love Land and reall take a good look. Maybe your dad sees something that you dont see. He has known you all of your life. Parents usually can be great radars.

Post # 9
Member
237 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I don’t know your relationship with your dad or on your family but I think sometimes they have a sense about people. I dated the “love of my life” for years and my dad was always a little standoffish. Wasn’t until I saw the light, ended and realized that he really was not the man for me did my dad really let loose with how he felt. He was right. I was wrong. Lesson learned. 

Post # 10
Member
450 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Your dad doesn’t have to “like” your Boyfriend or Best Friend, he just has to be civil. I understand how it would make you more comfortable for them to get along famously, but sometimes there just isn’t a good personality match between people. You have said your piece, your dad has said his, now all you can do is love your bf and reconcile yourself to the fact that they may never have a better relationship than they do now.

 

Post # 11
Member
1148 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

As someone who also has social anxiety: If he is ok with it bring him around more! Especially to casual events. When I’m at fun events around people I don’t know well, I’m a little less shy and I will open up more than if we’re all sitting in a room making small talk.

Either way in the end, whether your dad accepts him or not, you know the real guy that he is and that’s who you love, that’s what matters.

Post # 12
Member
8317 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

papayagirl :  

I don’t think it sounds  like your dad is anything other than concerned for the  best for  you . He hasn’t    said your bf is a awful or anything , he just fears he will hold you back etc.  Obviously he worries you will have a man on your hands you have to look after rather than your man  looking after you,  which  is what dads tend to want .

You’ve done what you can, and so has your dad,  now let it go a bit  and don’t harass either of them to  like  or perform  for each other . And do perhaps  give a tad of thought to pps who say sometimes  parents can see things that love blinds us to…….

Post # 13
Member
5 posts
Newbee

Order a long island and relax. 

If they have ANY common interest (same favorite drink, both liked deadpool, work on cars etc) bring that up during dinner so they will be able to talk freely without awkwardness. 

 

Post # 14
Member
47 posts
Newbee

I agree with pp that maybe your dad is seeing something you’re not. Try to see things from his perspective. Hopefully your dad will come around if he sees your boyfriend is treating you well.

Having my family’s approval was really important to me personally.

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors