(Closed) How to make everybody feel welcomed and included in Catholic ceremony?

posted 9 years ago in Interfaith
Post # 3
Member
4334 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

We’re going to have a pretty detailed program that explains most of what is “going on” at the ceremony. I assume that you’re not having a full Mass, just the wedding ceremony and readings, so if so, it will be REALLY similar anyhow to a Protestant wedding ceremony. If you are having a full Mass…then, yeah, it will be somewhat confusing to the non-Catholics, and I suspect that a program with explanations would be appreciated. I haven’t made mine yet or thought much about where I’m going to get ideas for what to write in it, but if you want to see it you can PM me closer to October!

Post # 4
Member
5789 posts
Bee Keeper

I think most weddings have people who come from many different faiths and beliefs, so I’m not sure it’s really necessary to do anything special. People usually follow along with what the majority are doing anyway (kneel,sit,stand) so I wouldn’t worry about it. A program can help if you think its needed, but I’d rather have my guests watch than read during the ceremony.

Post # 5
Member
6571 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

I think explaining thing in the program is a nice idea. I’m Jewish, and when I go to a Catholic ceremony I expect to be kind of out of the loop. I don’t mind it, it’s just not what I know, which is fine b/c it’s not my wedding.

Post # 6
Member
4822 posts
Honey bee

I agree with PP.  As long as hey know what to expect they should be OK. I wouldnt expect them all to be comfortable persay, but they will know how long it will be, when the readings are vs when communion is.

For those that are unfamiliar with communion I would ask the priest to make an announcement who he allows up for communion.  I am sure there is a standard in the religion, but I have been told different things by different clergy members.

I am not catholic or received first communion. I have been told I cant go up, I can get a blessing only and that I can go up to receive full communion.  As a result I just never go up unless the preist says specifically that I can. It is really uncomfortable being the only person to hang behind during this. Then again I married into a super-catholic family so they are all catholic and they all go up.  

Post # 7
Member
4334 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

View original reply
@lefeymw: That’s really unfortunate that priests are telling you different things. 🙁

Just in case you are ever wondering again, it is not allowed by the Church for non-Catholics to receive communion. Here’s the short explanation from the US bishops-
http://www.usccb.org/liturgy/current/intercom.shtml

Post # 8
Member
4822 posts
Honey bee

View original reply
@red_rose: I have discovered the same source, but when I asked a priest he said that many congregations choose for themselves. I was in a wedding at a catholic church so I asked him and said please come up! We accept everyone… 

Post # 10
Member
3343 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I don’t see why the priest can’t welcome people as they enter.  Our priest does that every Sunday! I think sometimes they are running late with getting their vestments on and don’t come out until it’s time to start mass.

Post # 11
Member
1018 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

View original reply
@mswhivo: I’m sort of in the same predicament. My FI’s immediate family is very catholic, whereas my family has never really practiced any religion.

My Fi totally agrees to just do the ceremony without doing the full mass/communion.

I think your guests will enjoy the ceremony regardless of what faith the are, the readings will be beautiful and you will be gleaming!

 

Post # 12
Member
4334 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

View original reply
@mswhivo:I’m sure the priest is allowed to. I think that the reason that they don’t usually is because they are busy “setting up” or getting ready for Mass or the ceremony and stuff.

I suspect if you mentioned this particulart concern to your priest yourself, he would either be willing to do it, or at least have other ideas of ways to make people feel comfortable.

Post # 13
Member
1025 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

It’s great that you are being so considerate of your guests! We had a lot of friends/family who were protestant and wanted to make sure they felt welcome too.

I would plan on doing a program that has all the info, responses and directions in it. I think it will help people a) know what to do, and b) feel like they aren’t already expected to know what to do.

Also, ask your priest to explain that all are welcome to come forward to receive a blessing during communion, and are also welcome to remain in their seats and pray. That way they won’t feel pressured to do either. (if you are having it)

You could consider not doing the “bride’s side” “groom’s side.” That way it won’t be noticeable if one half of the church is following along and the other side looks totally confused.

If you participate – people will feel more at ease. I’ve been to weddings where the B&G just sit and kinda listen along to everything. If you are into it, people will follow your lead. YOU set the tone for your wedding!

You can pick traditional hymns that everyone would know, Catholic or Protestant. Or just go all instrumental.

In your prayers of the faithful, you can pray in thanksgiving for religious freedom, for peace and understanding amongst faiths, and for unity in all peoples.

Good luck!

Post # 15
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

It’s your wedding and you are catholic if a guest or guest can’t suck it up, watch the ceremony and respect that the host is for catholics then they are rude.

My wedding is going to be in Greek, not everyone speaks Greek, but if they love me they’ll suck it up. I’m not trying to convert them, lol

Post # 16
Member
497 posts
Helper bee

@mswhivo: i used to sing at weddings in church and have seen many such weddings. things to help the non catholic side are:

– printed booklets showing the order of the mass, who says what etc with words like ‘all:’ and ‘(kneel)’ printed so they know if to stand, sit or knweel, and what words to say.

– hymns or music which are common to christian churches and not overtly catholic eg Ave verum corpus or Panis Angelicus may alienate those who are not catholic but hymns like ‘be still my soul – sibelius’ or ‘shine jesus shine’ are often known by all christians, then they can join in too.

– at the start of the mass the priest sometimes welcomed everyone and said ‘for those of you who are not catholic, please pick up an order of the mass booklet from the back and during communion, you are welcome to also come up to recieve a blessing’

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