(Closed) How to make guests anticipate an expensive affair

posted 7 years ago in Money
Post # 91
Member
552 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

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beenonymous765:  “Pay for your plate” is crap. The only time we do that is if we RSVP and then can’t make it last minute. Don’t have a wedding you can’t afford

Post # 92
Member
423 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

If I knew a B&G had a large wedding budget then my way of thinking might be that they don’t need extravagant gifts because they have enough already. Friends having a budget wedding are surely more deserving of largesse.

As other UK based bees have stated, spending on gifts usually corresponds to closeness to the couple. I don’t really think there is a an acceptable way of asking for what you want.

Post # 93
Member
2645 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

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starcatcher:  I really don’t think there is a way you can convey to guests, unless you specifically tell them you are spending a lot of money.  Personally, it wouldn’t matter to me if I received a expensive looking invitation for a wedding being held in an upscale venue.  I’m only going to give what I can afford.  Now if you want to convey a fancy/expensive wedding so guests show up in proper attire, just mention formal reception to follow on the invitation…people will typically get the hint there on how they should dress. 

Post # 94
Member
787 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Post # 95
Member
14177 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Traditions do change with the times, though. 

It’s interesting to me that invariably the customs that are held onto for dear life are are the ones that promote people’s own self-interests. 

The ones that don’t, for example, the parents picking out the groom, have managed to disappear.  Cover the plate is one that should, too.  

Post # 96
Member
7641 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

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starcatcher:  Well, you could register for gifts that are only over $500 (unless that’s too cheap for you too) and see how many gifts you don’t receive.

Or you could just tell them in the invitation that you aren’t accepting gifts under X amount of dollars because that would be very classy and not all “idealistic nice girl” since you’re into that sort of thing.

Post # 97
Member
1668 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Church

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starcatcher:  Er …I’m pretty sure just putting where your reception will be and having nice invitations should be enough information. You cannot tell someone to spend a certain amount or even suggest a certain amount. If this indeed were something in my circle I’m pretty sure that we would not have gone to almost all the weddings we had attended because of our financial circumstances. I hope no one felt slighted by our meager gifts …

Post # 98
Member
260 posts
Helper bee

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starcatcher:  make sure your invitations convey a high class formal theme, perhaps even black tie required, if thats the way you’re going.  high price gifts doesn’t really convey that, it just shows expensive tastes.  the invites should be the “explanation” for folks when it arrives they go ooooh and ahhhhh. 

Post # 100
Member
325 posts
Helper bee

A subtle Save-The-Date should do the trick.

“Guys, start shopping for our super KLASSSSSY wedding!”

Post # 101
Member
5211 posts
Bee Keeper

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a1vsue:  “My wedding in total comes out to 160k in the end for 90 guests”<br /><br />

I so totally want to go to your wedding! I hope you post a recap 

Post # 102
Member
2326 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

My wedding invitations have an attachments that says “Formal Attire recommended” 

I spent some serious cash on my event too (100k more or less) and don’t even have a registry because we are not doing this for the fancy gifts or money. 

 

 

Post # 103
Member
71 posts
Worker bee

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Bridey77:  it’s after including their hotel nights, flights, and our honeymoon and few other unseen things 🙂

 

but seriously to the original poster: your ethics and morals would need to be of quality before demanding such things from people around you. Then you’d realize what you are thinking is just downright appalling.  Your friends are not your money source.

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