(Closed) How to make him feel like a man?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I think he should be looking for a new job right now.  He can always tell them that he has a wedding coming up if he gets hired and they’d honor the time off.

I bet going on interviews would help make him feel better.

Post # 4
915 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@csteen85:   I agree with this, whenever I interview people I always ask if they have any upcoming trips planned, I always honor the time off, it’s just unpaid. 


Post # 5
11391 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

Maybe he could go on with the job search. Just let them know he can start on X day. (The day or a few days after your honeymoon.)

Post # 6
27 posts
  • Wedding: July 2013

so, so hard. My SO is the same, he wants to look after me but can’t get a job.

I try to really help him out however I can with his resume, interviews, his university work, etc. Just supporting him as much as possible.

Try to put off any purchases you can (I know this is hard at the moment!)

He will feel like you don’t know how he feels, my SO says the same thing and I really don’t understand because he’s got that ‘male provider’ instinct and I obviously don’t…

Good luck and big virtual hugs. I really hope it all works out!

Post # 7
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My Fiance had that problem awhile back, only he was having a hard time finding a job when he went back to Australia after being here for a year.  He was soooo down on himself and saying how he doesn’t want to be a burden on me etc, so what I did was just let him know that he will get one and in the meantime he is not letting me down because he is trying and we are a team, we support each other when the other one is low!!!  I do think though that he should at least go for something, even if its a minimum wage something that he can either try and take off or quit before the wedding (even though the latter is not ideal, its still money in the meantime!)  Hope everything goes well with you guys!

Post # 8
1828 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

My FH and I are in the same situation. He lost his job last year and we had put in an offer on a house. I’m working like crazy and can pay all the bills (plus he’s getting unemployment insurance) but he is so depressed right now. There are no jobs in his field and finding something else is very difficult.

All I do is make sure I tell him that I love him, there is a job out there for him and that one day it will be the other way around…I will be relying on him. I do ask him about his job search so he realizes that I know he’s looking but I also don’t obsess about it or he will just feel worse. As well, we’ve been starting some small projects around the house together and then he usually picks up and finishes them. When you’re not working and depressed it can be very difficult to get motivated so I find this helps him.

Post # 9
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

Fiance and I are in the same situation and have been since January 2011 (he was laid off a week after our engagement).  We’re constantly bickering about money (our only problem and no one’s true fault).  He has applied over 100 jobs and no call backs.  It’s utterly discouraging and a shame.  FI started his plumbing business in January and hoped to get an overnight job to help with some expenses, but it hasn’t happened yet.  We’re slowly, but truly getting there.  I wish I had an answer on how to make him feel like a man though.  I still can’t get Fiance to see that it’s not his fault.  Best of luck.

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