Post # 1
Hi bees! A bit of a moany one from me, but any advice would be so appreciated.
How do you manage making sure youre keeping your body a temple for eventual future baby without going mad at yourself if you slip up?
My husband and I are starting TTC this month (or more like NTNP) – I know I should be looking after myself, but I’m off to a terrible start – to the point where I’m convinced I won’t even O this month, since CDs 7-9 were a weekend away bender spent drinking at every meal, eating pastries and dairy and holiday foie gras (yes, foie gras three days in a row) and smoking (of all things to do!!! and not just one or two!!!!!). Normally I am gluten and dairy free, so this is a huge fall off the wagon for me. I have history of PCOS which makes this whole episode all the more shameful, since I know it’s best managed with diet for me.
My question is how do you all manage your anxieties and self-judgment whilst TTC? On the one hand I’m trying to remind myself that it’s important to live my life, that it’s only the first month TTC, and it was only three days of terrible behaviour, in the scheme of things not that terrible, so I should stay chilled and not be such a freak…on the other hand, I’m so angry with myself for displaying zero self control, for smoking cigarettes of all the terrible things to do, and for only thinking about short-term reward, and for basically throwing this first month trying in the bin…
Too tall an order? It’s going to be a long road if I get this upset with myself every time I eat something a bit naughty.
Thanks for your help!!
Post # 2
itsmrsc : I think you hit the nail on the head. It will be a verrrrry long road if you don’t give yourself a break. It’s not just TTC. It’s when you are pregnant, breastfeeding and a mom as well. Change your way of thinking now. You and your Darling Husband need to live your lives and create memories just the two of you. And have the bender, Christmas drinks, do something dangerous lol! I got pregnant in April 2015. Used to love the occasional bender and to this day I have had one since finding out I was pregnant. Enjoy this time, relax and focus on your one baby (DH) for now!
Post # 3
I think the more you hate yourself for ‘slipping up’ the harder it will be. Enjoy those treats when you want them – as a PP said there’ll be more to give up when you’re pregnant. Also I personally wouldn’t worry about diet affecting fertility until you’ve been TTC for a while and you aren’t pregnant.
Post # 4
Ok, relax – none of what you did will prevent you from conceiving (the only important thing to get there is to have sex around ovulation time). On the other hand, obviously, when you get the BFP, you will probably want to stop smoking and drink little to none during pregnancy. I think it depends on your personality whether being pregnant will create enough incentives for you to not smoke or drink, or whether you need to adjust to it ahead of time, but pregnancy and breastfeeding last quite a while, so indulging before you get pregnant is perfectly ok.
Post # 5
Well, since we’ve been TTC for 13 months, I would say live your life! I’ve spent the last year not enjoying a drink here and there, not taking cold medicine when I was super sick, not eating cold meat, etc. becacuse I *may* be pregnant. I used to be pretty obssessed with what I did or did not do when we first started TTC, but I’ve gotten more relaxed now. I think everything is okay in moderation. Obviously you need to change your ways once you get pregnant, but I would say it’s fine being laid back once in a while! Heck, next month if I’m not preggo, I will be riding rollercoasters galore in my tww at Disneyland!
Post # 6
None of the things you are doing are going to cause you to not ovulate, you are making stuff up in your head. I used TTC as a final hurrah to enjoy all the stuff I wanted before getting pregnant… theres nothing wrong with drinking/eating/smoking during TTC.
Post # 7
itsmrsc : remember – everything in moderation…including moderation. My husband and I tried a long time and before we moved to IVF we flew off for 10 days in Europe where I literally only consumed alcohol, espresso, raw meat/fish, and unpasteurized cheese. It was glorious and delicious and I still eventually got pregnant.
Post # 8
Thanks everyone for your kind replies! I realise now how absolutely bonkers I must have sounded – it’s helpful to gain some perspective. I will definitely try and chill out and just cherish these fun moments with Darling Husband. Thank you thank you! x
Post # 9
itsmrsc : I would add that trying to quit smoking now is probably a wise idea though. It’s so bad during pregnancy and you don’t want to be cranky pregnant AND recently quit. I’d give yourself time to adjust to that change.
Post # 10
You can make your body a temple all you want. But when your little one is conceived, that little guy will be spraypainting the walls and breaking the windows with a sledgehammer. Anything you could possibly be doing to your body pales in comparison lol. Just do the best you can while TTC, because it is reasonable to enjoy those things you won’t be able to while pregnant. I would probably quit smoking though beforehand, as PPs have said.