Post # 1
My partner and I are looking to start TTC in the next year or two and being a Mum is something that I really desire. However, I just cannot stop with the “What Ifs?” and it is driving me crazy. My partner and I are ok financially and have a good education and family support but my mind starts wandering to “What if we have a baby and we lose our jobs” and then I move onto bigger and better crazy thoughts like “What if when my child grows up crime is high/water is scarce/jobs are rare?” etc etc. The thought of something bad happening with just myself and my partner doesn’t bother me, because I know I will deal with it, but the thought of something bad happening and I can’t control the fate of my child scares me so much!! Did any mothers to be have similar thoughts? Or am I just bat-shit crazy?
Post # 3
Oh man, you sound just like my Darling Husband when we first started seriously discussing TTC! He would come up with the most ridiculous concerns…and the very first time we didn’t use protection the next day he had a freak out about how we should wait after all! Thank goodness he changed his mind by the next day, since I did indeed become pregnant after the first time. Then once we discovered I’m actually pregnant he was excited and happy, and I was freaking out about the what-ifs and the ‘omg I’m actually going to be someone’s mom!’
Luckily now we’ve both leveled out about it – no parent is perfect, but we’re going to do the best we can and will always be there to support and love our child. Do that, and you’ll make it work and be a good parent.
Post # 4
@Vikstar: I don’t think you’re crazy at all. I had all those same thoughts and decided I wasn’t going to have kids. I ended up getting pregnant while switching BC methods and then figured might as well have 2. They’re teens now, and I still have those fears (plus the more realistic ones that come about after they hit puberty). My husband and I were just talking about it today in fact. It is hard to accept that you can’t protect them from everything. I just tell myself that whatever the future holds, it can’t be worse than some of the crap the world has already been through, like ice ages and the plague and things like that. Yet somehow humanity survives and I just have to have faith that my kids will adapt and be ok, come what may.
Post # 5
@Vikstar: I think everyone has those thoughts…. we’d be craaaaaaaaaaaazy if we didn’t. Things work out tho, sometimes it’s hard/struggle but you manage. I’m the fourth of five, we have lived in a single bedroom apartment, my dad has worked three jobs…. you do it for your family. Things get better. You look back on the rought times as the times that brought your family together. You can’t plan for everything … I mean how do you know you won’t get divorced? I don’t wish that on anyone but if you get hung up on the .. “what if’s ” you miss … LIFE