- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2014
I am really getting into the wedding planning process but I have one bm that is maybe a little too into the wedding planning process for me. She just finished being a bm in someone elses wedding and did quite a lot of wedding planning for her – so I’m pretty sure that is where this is coming from. This started out being really helpful, coming with me to a photography meeting and giving feedback on venues – but has now moved past helpful. In the last week or so she has:
- Informed me that the color I want for bm dresses (which I picked because it would be universally flattering on all the women in the wedding party) is way wrong because it doesn’t mesh with her pinterest boards for my wedding that she won’t even show me.
- Informed me that I cannot tell any of the bridesmaids any of the dress parameters until at least May for a September wedding (I had mentioned that I would give the girls the color/fabric/length info in January or February so that they had ample time to find a dress they liked.
- Come wedding dress shopping with me and completely took over my appointment, having the consultant pull tons of dresses that were nothing like anything I wanted. The consultant couldn’t figure out what it was I wanted and I never got to try on the dress I was most excited about.
- Told me that paying for the wedding party to get their hair done the morning of is absolutely redicious, and that all the women in the wedding party (including those who will need to fly in for it) will expect to spend several hundred dollars between the dress, the hair, hotel etc.
I’m worried that with a year to go – this is only going to get worse, but this person is very close to me and the last thing I want to do is hurt her feelings or have her hate me and think I’m a bridezilla (which she’s already said). How do I let her know that while I want her to be in the wedding and she can handle things like the bridal shower to her hearts content, things like my wedding dress, colors and other fundamental decisions need to be mine, my fiance’s and my parents.