How to NOT get my hopes up? – mini rant

posted 3 months ago in Waiting
Post # 2
321 posts
Helper bee

I literally could have written this post. We’re going on a trip in 2 weeks and am just trying to convince myself that it won’t happen, and to just enjoy the trip. Because if I get my hopes up and it doesn’t happen, it’ll ruin the trip for me. I’ve tried for the past 1 1/2 weeks to not say anything about it. The best thing that has helped me is honestly not going on this site lol

Edit: Our trip is for 2 weeks to Europe, so it’s really hard to not get my hopes up of it happening then!

Post # 3
658 posts
Busy bee

Just try to relax and enjoy your trip! I know it’s hard, but try not to let something you know is going to happen eventually ruin perfectly good quality time together. Hugs!

Post # 4
1292 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

It’ll happen in time. Do you know If he has the ring? Good luck.

Post # 5
1986 posts
Buzzing bee

Start making a list of nourishing, nurturing, self benefitting things to do FOR YOURSELF and do one or more every single day.

Attempting to stop focusing on an event tends to increase the focus, so stop focusing on stopping. 

Doing something good for yourself will restore and realign a healthier perspective. DO THAT.

Post # 6
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Definitely try to relax. My SIL still regrets expecting a proposal during a trip they took, because on the way home she was harsh with my brother and throwing a mini tantrum because he hadn’t proposed when she expected. Turns out, he proposed the next week, and he had planned it that way so that her family and friends could be there and they could get pictures and video of it. He knew my SIL would prefer if it wasn’t a private event, but something shared with her friends and family, so she’s happy he did it when he did, and not when she anticipated it.

I, on the other hand, always wanted my proposal to be private and just between FI and me. He made that happen on a weekend trip we took, and then we had the fun of celebrating by ourselves and calling and texting friends and family to announce the news.

So, trust your bf to do this right and don’t allow your expectations to ruin a trip and perhaps leave a bad memory for the two of you.

Post # 7
413 posts
Helper bee

I feel like this is me. We are going on a trip next week and I’m trying to not get my hopes up at all. We’ve been together for five and a half years and I just don’t know how much longer I can wait to be honest, but I am sure it’s coming so I’m trying not to get all crazy. Totally didnt get my hair cut and colored, my nails done and my eyelashes lifted and tinted just for this trip, definitely not hoping for anything wink

Post # 10
798 posts
Busy bee

My FI had me convinced I would have to wait for a proposal until we went on a trip in September, but ended up proposing before then. I was totally shocked that he did it early, but the day he proposed it was super obvious to me. I wish I had known it would be so obvious so that I’d have stopped reading so much into every moment before then.

My point is, you (hopefully) know your FI really well by now and should be able to tell without a doubt when it’s coming for real. Enjoy the rest of your time as an un-engaged couple while you still can- believe it or not I miss that feeling of excitement and expectation. Once it’s over it’s over forever, and people start hounding you about dates and money and events. 

Post # 11
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

MissCtoMrsR :  This probably doesn’t help you…but…I got engaged on a vacation to Europe 😉 

Post # 13
80 posts
Worker bee

I know exactly how you feel! My bf and I have a tripped planned in a month and I keep thinking that may be when he proposes so it is making me extremely anxious about the trip. I do not want to get my hopes up but I just can’t think of when else he would do it and he already has my ring, he got it a month ago! I already am nervous about the trip because I do not like to fly and haven’t been on a plane in years. Plus this is our first big trip together and I will be meeting his sister for the first time as well. So all that mixed with suspecting he might propose there has my anxiety through the roof. If he doesn’t propose by then I think I am going to be pretty disappointed, but it is just so hard not to get my hopes up. Sorry I couldnt help but I hope it works out the way u want 🙂

Post # 15
31 posts

Ohhh this is me too ! We r going to Italy on the 14th august and I know it’s gonna b tough on the way home an afterwards if no proposal happens in the 4 days we r away ! I’m getting my nails done . As far as I know he hasn’t purchased a ring though 🙁 

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