(Closed) How to not hire a friend…

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016 - The Burgundy Basin

The next time that she brings up the wedding, just tell her and let her know that you have hired a photographer that suits your style a bit more. She should understand in a professional manner that you’re not doing it to hurt her.. it’s just that you found someone that works better for you.

Post # 3
Member
1487 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2005 - A Castle

There is potential for bad blood here, but honestly. she’s running a business and has to be okay with someone opting to use somebody else. I don’t really think you owe her anything, but if it will clear your conscious, just say something like “I have decided to go a different route.” and leave it at that.

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 3 months ago by dracarys.
Post # 4
Member
6239 posts
Bee Keeper

You may also want to point out that she can enjoy the wedding far better if she’s not under the stress of dealing with photos and worrying about possibly disappointing a friend.  It’s got to be easier to be a pro photographer for a stranger compared to someone you know well and might worry about letting down.  I can almost guarantee that a photographer isn’t paying any attention to the actual ceremony aside from making sure to get key shots, and you wouldn’t want her to miss that, right?

Post # 5
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

I was basically just honest I didn’t want to hire friends.  Tried to say it nicely but for all the friends that came out of the woodwork marketing their direct sales or businesses or photography to me, I just smiled, said “thank you for the information, I’ll look at it more later”, and if they asked again, I just said I didn’t think their product or service would work for me. And when a few people did that to my parents, I just said, “I’m avoiding hiring any friends for anything.  If people want to volunteer or gift anything, then that’s amazing!  But I won’t risk relationships or friendships or anything by actually hiring a friend or a friend of a friend.”  Worked fine and no subsequent drama (at the moment that i know of!) 

Post # 6
Member
2417 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

View original reply
skunktastic: OP said she isn’t a wedding guest.

 

Post # 7
Member
6239 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
MrsWhitneyC2015:  whoops.  Well in that case I’m with futuremsd1113 on this one.

Post # 8
Member
31 posts
Newbee

View original reply
twistaway:  I think being honest with her is the right way to go. You really like her work but were able to find someone who fits your vision more. I wouldn’t mention the money issue at all. Keep your explaination to a minimum. It doesn’t sound like you two are very close, and this was a business deal considering you were still going to pay her the amount agreed upon (not sure if it is her full price or discount friend price). 

Therefore, keep it as a business relationship when saying no. 

Post # 9
Member
2134 posts
Buzzing bee

We went through the same problem with one of my FIS friends whouse are djs. I didn’t want them to dj, and the venue is acousticaly hard to make work, and I didn’t feel they had the experience, we just told then we didn’t want them working at our wedding and that we wanted them to enjoy it and be able to celebrate with us. 

The topic ‘How to not hire a friend…’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors