Post # 1
Here’s the deal, I’m getting married to a man with a wonderful huge family. My family is a clusterf*ck to say the least. My dad was abusive, my mother doesn’t get along with her siblings, etc etc. I’m not that close to my extended family but I’m cordial and am the type of person that gets along with everyone (we keep up on facebook). I’ve decided not to invite my father and therefore by extension his family. My mother has asked me not to invite her siblings. How do I deal with the inevitable storm this going to create? I’ve debated deleting my facvebook but I do want to keep in touch with these people. I’ve asked guests not to post pictures of me on facebook so nothing about the day will pop up in their newsfeeds. But at the same time I want to be able to share my joy. As you can tell I’m totally conflicted over (1) If/how to tell them I’m getting married (2) let them know they’re not invited/it’s not because I don’t like them, there are just bigger things at play.
Any ideas and advice are truly appreciated!
Post # 2
kbbear : I wouldnt worry to much about it. They will honestly not even know it happened until after its over and by then you can just let them know that the wedding was super small, immediate family only kind thing. They wont know as the only person to tell then would be you as they dont talk to your mom. Just in the meantime be careful to avoid posting wedding related things, or you can block specfic people from seeing things you post. I do that with my grandma and my politcal posts, lol.
If you really want to tell them before hand though. Just tell them the same thing, its very small wedding, and if you really want to celebrate with them maybe have dinner with them at a later date or have a little party at your house with them later.
Post # 3
- Wedding: October 2017 - NOLA
Elope. This is what we’re doing to avoid our crazy families (on both sides!) Best of luck.
Post # 4
kbbear : forget what your mother wants, what do YOU want? Do you want your siblings to be there? It’s your day, not hers.
If you don’t want them there, I would follow chrissybee’s advice. If you do want them there, invite them. Your mom will have to get over it.