- 4 years ago
- Wedding: June 2015
I’m trying to nail down a guestlist so we can determine number of heads/venue.
Is there any way to not invite one set of cousins to a wedding? This part of the “tree” are not well-liked or respected by most of the family and like to start drama. The kids in the family (all adults!) chose to do drugs before and at my sister’s wedding two years ago and got super out of hand. The rest of the cousins were trying to keep it hush-hush from my parents and my sister, but I really don’t want any of that nonsense at my wedding and I’m not going to babysit them on my big day. The only other person who could/would babysit them is my sister and I don’t want to crush her by telling her about what happened at her wedding all these years later.
I’m trying to think of a way to not invite them without breaking my grandmother’s heart. Do you think that I can blame “venue size and headcount” for why all cousins not IN the wedding will not be invited? This would really equate to only them and some on the groom’s side that he doesn’t even know very well. The rest of the family will be grateful if they aren’t there, but I could see my grandmother getting hurt. Obviously, I don’t want to explain to grandma: “Well, those little shitheads decided to get high before <sister>’s wedding and I would rather not have them show up loaded.”
Any advice you have is greatly appreciated. Realistically, this will probably be the last large event my grandparents can attend together since my grandfather was diagnosed with slow-growing but un-treatable cancer. Alternatively, if you know of a way to invite them and keep her happy – but keep them from doing drugs and/or away from the family, those suggestions will be great too. Talking to them like adults doesn’t work, they lie to your face and choose to do what they want anyways.