How to offer to help bridesmaid with cost?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
2805 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Yes, absolutely offer to pay for it. If she gets embarrassed or tries to decline, simply tell her that you do not wish to cause her any more financial struggles, but cannot get married without her as a bridesmaid. 

Post # 3
Member
7062 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

nearlyscottish :  Yes, if you’re in a position to afford it I would absolutely pay for her to be a bridesmaid in your wedding. And for the record, I don’t think it’s anyone else’s business so to me there is no need to clue in the other bridesmaids and cause her further embarrassment. The only thing a bridesmaid is responsible for is their attire (dress/shoes), and hair/makeup (but can easily do it themselves), and any accommodations if travel is involved.

Post # 5
Member
1412 posts
Bumble bee

I decided to cover everything for my girls- dresses, hair, makeup, shoes, mani/pedi, jewelry etc, but also covered the hotel (expensive since it’s NYC!) for one girl as she had just gone back to school/stopped working and had to fly to my in-town bachelorette (since she’d moved for school). Other girls found out and thought it was more than fair! 

Post # 6
Member
11466 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Definitely do this. She will appreciate it, even if she feels a bit awkward. I’m sure she will be very relieved.

Post # 7
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2018

You are a thoughtful friend! I think she will greatly appreciate your offer, and I hope she accepts it.

Post # 8
Member
3876 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I offered to buy all my BM’s dresses and one took me up on it. Emphasize that these expenses are only coming up because of your wedding and you’re the one that wants the things so it makes sense for you to pay for them, you’re not just randomly buying her a dress or whatever. 

Post # 9
Member
34 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I offered to pay for my MOHs dress and hair/makeup because she is in grad school and not working at the moment.  Simply said “I’d love to buy your dress for you” and she accepted.  I don’t think it would be offensive unless you said something like “I know you can’t afford it”. 

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