Post # 1
Member
304 posts
Helper bee
One of my bridesmaids is really struggling with money, she can barely pay her bills and is living month to month. It’s short term so when I asked her to bridesmaid she was not in this situation (though I still would have asked her). I have been helping her out with bills a little lately but I can tell it’s embarrassing for her. I want to offer to buy her bridesmaid stuff, dress, HMUA, etc… but I don’t want to offend her. Should I quietly offer to pay for just her part? There are 3 BMs and neither of the other two would be upset to find out. I don’t want to overstep but I really do not want to be responsible for hurting her financially.
Post # 2
Member
2805 posts
Sugar bee
Yes, absolutely offer to pay for it. If she gets embarrassed or tries to decline, simply tell her that you do not wish to cause her any more financial struggles, but cannot get married without her as a bridesmaid.
Post # 3
Member
7062 posts
Busy Beekeeper
nearlyscottish : Yes, if you’re in a position to afford it I would absolutely pay for her to be a bridesmaid in your wedding. And for the record, I don’t think it’s anyone else’s business so to me there is no need to clue in the other bridesmaids and cause her further embarrassment. The only thing a bridesmaid is responsible for is their attire (dress/shoes), and hair/makeup (but can easily do it themselves), and any accommodations if travel is involved.
Post # 4
Member
304 posts
Helper bee
starfish0116 : Thanks, yeah I would never offer up the information. I more meant if she told them or it came out by accident I don’t think they would be upset.
Post # 5
Member
1412 posts
Bumble bee
I decided to cover everything for my girls- dresses, hair, makeup, shoes, mani/pedi, jewelry etc, but also covered the hotel (expensive since it’s NYC!) for one girl as she had just gone back to school/stopped working and had to fly to my in-town bachelorette (since she’d moved for school). Other girls found out and thought it was more than fair!
Post # 6
Member
11466 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
Definitely do this. She will appreciate it, even if she feels a bit awkward. I’m sure she will be very relieved.
Post # 7
Member
38 posts
Newbee
You are a thoughtful friend! I think she will greatly appreciate your offer, and I hope she accepts it.
Post # 8
Member
3876 posts
Honey bee
I offered to buy all my BM’s dresses and one took me up on it. Emphasize that these expenses are only coming up because of your wedding and you’re the one that wants the things so it makes sense for you to pay for them, you’re not just randomly buying her a dress or whatever.
Post # 9
Member
34 posts
Newbee
I offered to pay for my MOHs dress and hair/makeup because she is in grad school and not working at the moment. Simply said “I’d love to buy your dress for you” and she accepted. I don’t think it would be offensive unless you said something like “I know you can’t afford it”.
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