How to pick your bridesmaids…?

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I picked my 2 best friends.  My Maid/Matron of Honor I’ve known since high school, we drifted apart when she went off to college but reconnected 10 years ago when she moved back and I was going through a divorce.  She’s been my best friend since.  My bridesmaid is my other best friend I met 10 years ago.  They are the two most constant friends in my life that are very important to me, and have been influential or a part in some way of my relationship with my fiancé.  I knew I wanted to keep our wedding party small and intimate and picking them was a no brainer.  I could have picked a few other girls I’m close to in addition just to have a bigger wedding party but we didn’t want that.  They would have just been “fillers” so to speak. 


i would pick your closest friends you have a constant relationship with.  Who you spend the most time with, talk to the most, has an positive impact on you and/of fiancé’s life. 

Post # 3
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2019

If there isn’t anyone that you trust enough to be dependable, don’t have a wedding party. It’s not uncommon or weird. 

Good luck with whatever you decide! 


Post # 4
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Agree with PP – if you don’t trust anyone enough in the role, don’t do it. My Maid/Matron of Honor is planning to have one person – me – stand next to her. She doesn’t want anyone else. That’s not weird and neither is having no one. Your day, your decision.

Post # 5
1629 posts
Bumble bee

I have 7 bridesmaids. 2 are family, 5 friends. 

I have made a “best friend” at every stage in life (middle school, high school, college, job, etc.) and still regularly talk to most of them (not elementary school, not high school), so they were natural selections. They’re all reliable and dependable, and they can all afford it. 

But you don’t have to have any at all if you don’t want to. Really. I had a friend who chose her brother. 

Post # 7
8424 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Ailis83 :  

idk if this  

Ideally, Id like to have 3 in my party along with 3 on the grooms side.  A maid/matron of honor and 2 bridesmaids. I just don;t  t know how to approach it.  I tend to be practical and sometimes over think things.

 is practical or overthinking exactly , sounds more like  you have some picture in your mind of how a wedding party ought to look and that ‘s what you are going for , even though it doesn’t fit your life and/or situation .

I would just have the lady who was like a /better than  your  mother as your  ‘best woman ‘ as it were , and leave it at that. And, if I might suggest , continue work  on the rather worrying aspect of your severe distrust of women . 

Post # 9
9042 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Ailis83 :  “I’m not sure if they can/will be dependable” – what exactly do you mean this? How do you thinkl they not be dependable?

Post # 10
9042 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Ailis83 :  “I’m not sure if they can/will be dependable” – what exactly do you mean this? How do you think they will not be dependable?

Post # 12
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

Ailis83 :  I don’t have any sisters or female cousins that I know well so I picked my closest friends and my Fiance’s sister. Not all of them are friends from childhood. They are all girls that I’d consider to be very dependable. 

Think about it this way.. if you invited these women to your birthday party/holiday party/housewarming party would they come? My way of thinking is that the people who are relaible and show up to things that matter to you are your true friends. No matter the age gap. 

I saw that you mentioned that you want them to help… be aware that wedding planning is on you. Bridesmaids don’t help pick vendors, make decisions about decor, address things, make crafts (unless they enjoy crafting) etc. They are just VIPs that stand and celebrate with you. They’ll wear a specific dress and perhaps plan a bachleorette party and shower 

Post # 13
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I don’t think there are really any rules when it comes to this sort of thing. If you want to choose women who are older than you, that’s fine. If you want to choose a male friend or relative, that’s also fine! I’ve been to weddings with no bridal parties as well as weddings where the bride’s brother was the “Man of Honor”. I think anything goes these days. Just do what feels right to you.

And second the poster that said your bridal party is not responsible for planning the wedding. That’s on you (or a paid professional). Sorry. 

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