- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2014
Ok so we are not engaged yet, but it is comming up…sooner than i think either of us anticipated! Partly for reasons that are very sad to us….We live in kansas, my family is here, and is by far much smaller….his are all in nebraska…including one aunt whom he is extremely close with and his grandma who is a huge part ofwho he is, and is EXTREMELY important in his life…we his dad is from a huge family like 11 kids huge…and so his grandma is 93 and favorite aunt is 76, and both have health problems, plus another aunt who has cancer and is in her 60s, so them traveling to kansas for a wedding is probably not going to be able to happen…so i was thinking why make his 20 aunts and uncles (biological and their spouses), plus their kids, all travel when my family which is mainly me and my siblings parents, and a handful of aunts and uncles and cousins, could do so more easily, and it is sooo sooo important to me to have his grandma there if god willing she is still alive (we pray everynight that her so far stable health continue), she has basically adopted me, as i have no grandparents left….
so here is my thoughts…
we are leaning towards an outdoor wedding (we are both sun junkies, if we are free were outside), in nebraska, in either the spring or fall, summer is out of the question, it is a family full of farmers and thats when most of the work is done, so we are looking at either early spring like april, or during the fall, probably in september or october….and having a smaller wedding, mostly family and some close friends of ours, we each know that we will have 2 bridesmaids and 2 groomsmen….we want it fairly simple, and classic and has to be in a wheelchair accessable area, preferably near an indoor spot for the reception, which we also want to be small…
so how do you balance trying to plan everything and do anything from so far away??? we can go stay with family as much as needed to plan this once he proposes and gets the ball rolling…
my other concern is my sister (known the world over for being a HUGE BRAT!) is getting married for the second time next march has yet to date a guy more then a year before getting engaged, anywho…ive been with SO for over 5 years and we are willing to endure her tantrums to have the important people in our lives there….so would it be wrong if she got married in march and i got married in april?? or should we wait until fall and push our luck and apease her spoiled ass…ceremonies are going to be polar opposites, and nothing similair….
this is of course after SO and i had a heart to heart a few weeks ago, after i blew up because i was letting her rule my life and decisions and we were going to go ahead and get engaged this year instead of waiting after her wedding, so as not to upset her, which to me is redikulous, my SO cried after they got engaged, because he couldnt go through with his plan which would have been 3 weeks after them and i literally had a cow, because she flipped out on me and i got bitched at for 2 weeks because we were thinking about it so close to “HER MOMENT”, which lead to alot of doubt that maybe SO was going to use this as an excuse to push the engagement off….
well here we are, strong as ever as a couple…and i have made a decision that fuck her and what she thinks about the engagement…and im about half way there with the cermony, i just want the people we love most to be there….
so now the big decision between fall and spring hopefully next year, is the logistics of timing with setting everything we need up….so my lovely bees….any advice for planning at a distance????