(Closed) how to plan a wedding in another state?!?!? to rush or not to rush?

posted 6 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 4
3697 posts
Sugar bee

Well, first of all you will have to realize that no matter what you decide about any particular detail, it will probably be inconvenient for someone, but you have to just bite the bullet and make your plans because otherwise it will be paralyzing.

If your FI’s family are farmers, then I’m sorry to break it to you, but spring and fall are as bad as, if not worse than, summer for weddings. Spring is planting season and fall is harvest, and the exact dates for the busiest times for each crop (when people are in the fields round-the-clock) can be guesstimated but they are very weather-dependent and will fluctuate from year to year, so it’s really impossible to predict a “good date” with any accuracy. As the daughter of a farming family, I had to juggle that along with all the other considerations Fiance and I needed to think about. We opted for late September, which I know probably means that some of my relatives won’t be able to make it unless the week prior turns out to be really rainy – otherwise they will be in the field. But it’s just a facet of life you have to accept when you come from farmers.

So, you may want to talk to some people on FI’s side to get a general idea of when the busiest times are before you set a date. They may actually say that summer is a little less crazy for them than spring or fall – it depends on what crops they farm, though. They are in the best position to tell you.

Post # 5
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Hi there! You are in a very similar situation to me! I currently live in Florida and our wedding is in Washington. It was a little tricky but if you are good at emailing and long phone calls it can be done! I visited my parents (who live in WA) once to get local wedding magazines and go to a local Bridal Show. Everything else I’ve done so far has been over email and the phone

The internet is great because most places have great pictures of their venues and you can always ask for more. That was the hardest part, but if you can figure out what you are looking for in advance and schedule showings close to eachother, then you can stay with family for a short trip (weekend maybe) and get it done that way.

The other thing that is hard is not being able to do the tastings and such. We booked our cater without a tasting but we didn’t really have a choice becuase they were required by the venue. But that is another thing you can research in advance and then set up for one of your trips there.

Another recomendation I would make is to purchase your dress where you are. I purchased mine in WA and while it will work out for me now (we are unexpectly moving to WA) it was going to be really tricky to get all the nessessary fittings in.


As for you sister, don’t let what she does dictate anything that you do. My bother got engaged two months after me and while it was weird (we never thought we would be engaged at the same time) we are trying to not let eachother change or affect our wedding plans. Obviously I picked my date first so he won’t be using that day, but I don’t think it makes too much of a difference as long as it doesn’t bother you. Remember, that just becasue your sister got engaged first doesn’t mean you are any less important or any less of “The Bride!” Your day is all about you and she needs to get over it.Choose what makes you happy!!

Post # 6
2716 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m planning a wedding (in 9 months) Michigan and I live in Virginia.  It’s not ideal, but still totally doable.  The great majority of things can be taken care of via email and phone.  The hardest part would be choosing a venue (and maybe a photographer).  What I did is a week before I went back to MI, I researched and emailed TONS of venues, booked appointments with our favorites, and made a decision that weekend.  It’s actually nice because it forces you to make a decision quickly and doesn’t leave room for lots of second guessing.

As PP said, tastings are tricky.  You can either travel back and make some appointments one weekend or have your FI’s family do some for you (which is what we’re doing).

I also second the advice about getting a dress where you live.  It’s a lot less stressful and you don’t have to worry about traveling for fittings.

As far as your sister is concerned, I would worry about her nor let her dictate your wedding.  The only thing I would suggest here is to be mindful of scheduling conflits – as in don’t plan your showers on the same day or while she is on her Honeymoon or the like.  I would also give at least a 2 month buffer between her wedding and yours.  This is not because you’d be “stealing her thunder” but because it can be hard on guests to have 2 family weddings so close to each other.

Good luck!

Post # 9
237 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013


I am planning from out of country (wedding in rural Maryland where my family is, but currently living in Canada!). I found the best thing was a lot of online research–dresses, venues. photogs, etc. followed up by phone calls to get to know people or get specifics about dresses etc. Then when I was visiting my folks for a bit I just scheduled everything–visits, appointments, the works! It made for a busy trip, but because of the planning I could be efficient and finish a lot of the big stuff. If you have any questions about specifics I would be happy to help!

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