Post # 1
Our venue capacity is 100 people max. And speaking to the venue coordinator, there’s no wiggle room in this because the limit is based on literally how many chairs will fit in the ceremony space.
We have about 120 people we want to invite and we sent out initial invites to about 80 people.
There’s quite a few people in that first round of invites who are very non-committal about their attendence. A very, “yeah, I *think* we should be able to make it” sort of thing. I have quite a few friends/family with the bad habit of saying they’ll come to something (dinner, movies, family reunion) and then will back out at the last minute because of some circumstance or another. My Maid/Matron of Honor is actually a pretty bad offender, constantly asking for rainchecks at the last minute.
And my family is Korean so they’re used to huuuge 300 people weddings where they just ignore the RSVP and show up if they feel like showing up, and don’t show up if they don’t want to. I know the people who care about us most will of course make every effort to be there. But we had some obligation invites, Aunts/Uncles/Cousins we are only mildly close to who have been vague about if they’re going to attend or not. We still have 2 months to the wedding so we’re not over anxious about it YET, but it is a semi-destination wedding and we want to give the rest of the invite list as much of a heads up as possible and not invite them like 3 weeks before the wedding.
How do I ask people for solid, firm, if-you-promise-to-be-there-you-really-will-be-there confirmations and do it asap without sounding like I’m itching to take their seat and give it to someone else?
Post # 3
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
One of the emails I sent last weekend:
“Hey- Just wanted to check on your RSVP for our wedding on July 13th. We know how easy it is to let these dates get away from you, however we need to give our caterer a final number of guests. If we haven’t received your reply card by June 23rd, we’ll have to assume that you are unable to attend (which would be very sad!). Hope you’ll be able to join us on the big day. :)”
Post # 5
I don’t understand how people have been wishy washy on the actual RSVP. When is the deadline? When is the wedding?
Post # 6
rebwana, thanks for sharing your email, that’s super helpful. 🙂
MrsMeNow, Yes we did. One of the problems is that we have people who in the past have said they were coming to events (and important events too!) but ended up backing out at the last minute. Which in this case would result in a valuable seat going to waste unless we want to invite someone with very little notice, which seems awfully rude.
Post # 7
Send the email, I think I am going to copy and paste that one for future reference. Invites go out in two weeks!! Or have your mom or dad call (whoever family member the guest is related too) and just ask if they are coming or not. It usually sounds less invasive coming from a third party. Good Luck, I might have the same issue soon.
Post # 8
People are nuts, RSVP isn’t a maybe and perhaps. I say said a firm email and tell them you have to give the Venue firm numbers. Have your parents/family help you explain this to your family members.
Post # 9
@rebwana: Yes, this. Key words like “caterer” and “final numbers” usually nudge people to get a move on.
Post # 10
I sympathise as we still have quite a lot of people ignoring the last email reminder we sent out….the words ‘caterer, suppliers, seating numbers, venue capatcity’ etc didn’t seem to have much effect…
We have several family groups (parents with children) saying “We’ll try to be there but don’t know if we can” – I understand people have busy lives, especially with children – but how on earth do you do seating arrangements with replies like that!!!!
I am tempted to just not chase up anymore…we sent invites with RSVP’s including stamped addressed envelopes, have followed up with msgs on our ‘save the day’ FB board and sent emails and we have even extended our original deadline to the day the caterers need final numbers!!!
It’s a good job that these last few numbers are people we aren’t that close to as we think it will end up being that we have a group of guests who will have to go and find food elsewhere and when they ask why we’ll say “answer the RSVP for the next wedding you get an invite to!!!”