(Closed) How to politely ask, "are you REALLY coming? For sure??"

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

One of the emails I sent last weekend:

“Hey- Just wanted to check on your RSVP for our wedding on July 13th. We know how easy it is to let these dates get away from you, however we need to give our caterer a final number of guests. If we haven’t received your reply card by June 23rd, we’ll have to assume that you are unable to attend (which would be very sad!). Hope you’ll be able to join us on the big day. :)”

Post # 4
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

Did you send RSVP’s?

Post # 5
3266 posts
Sugar bee

I don’t understand how people have been wishy washy on the actual RSVP.  When is the deadline?  When is the wedding?

Post # 7
22 posts
  • Wedding: September 2012

Send the email, I think I am going to copy and paste that one for future reference. Invites go out in two weeks!! Or have your mom or dad call (whoever family member the guest is related too)  and just ask if they are coming or not. It usually sounds less invasive coming from a third party. Good Luck, I might have the same issue soon.

Post # 8
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

People are nuts, RSVP isn’t a maybe and perhaps. I say said a firm email and tell them you have to give the Venue firm numbers. Have your parents/family help you explain this to your family members.

Post # 9
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@rebwana:  Yes, this. Key words like “caterer” and “final numbers” usually nudge people to get a move on.

Post # 10
94 posts
Worker bee

I sympathise as we still have quite a lot of people ignoring the last email reminder we sent out….the words ‘caterer, suppliers, seating numbers, venue capatcity’ etc didn’t seem to have much effect…

   We have several family groups (parents with children) saying “We’ll try to be there but don’t know if we can” – I understand people have busy lives, especially with children – but how on earth do you do seating arrangements with replies like that!!!! 

    I am tempted to just not chase up anymore…we sent invites with RSVP’s including stamped addressed envelopes, have followed up with msgs on our ‘save the day’ FB board and sent emails and we have even extended our original deadline to the day the caterers need final numbers!!!

    It’s a good job that these last few numbers are people we aren’t that close to as we think it will end up being that we have a group of guests who will have to go and find food elsewhere and when they ask why we’ll say “answer the RSVP for the next wedding you get an invite to!!!”

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