(Closed) How to politely ask for privacy?

posted 6 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
1227 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@cant.wait.to.be.mrs.d:  TBH, I’m a little confused on why it would be an issue. If the ladies are concerned about being seen drinking, then they probably shouldn’t be drinking. If they are going to abstain, then I don’t see the big deal about them being photographed with others who are drinking.

Regardless, couldn’t you just simply tell the bachelorette guests not to take any photos after dinner? I’m assuming your sis knows and trusts all these women, or else she wouldn’t be inviting them. I don’t think it’s right to ask them not to have their cell phones on them after dinner. I myself do not go anywhere without mine – always nice to have in an emergency.


Post # 4
2463 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think just word of mouth should be enough–you could say something to the group when you’re together at dinner, or just in casual convos with the guests. I don’t think it’d be necessary to put that on the invite

Post # 5
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Bubu82:  I agree 100%. 

I think you can ask for photos not to be taken after the dinner if you really feel strongly about that (but do it at the dinner itself).

I don’t think you can ask people not to have their cell phones.

Post # 7
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@Bubu82:  This. Said it much better than I could have

Post # 8
1562 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Just my take on the situation – if I saw my ministers wife out at a bachelorette party, I would expect her (since I know her) to maybe have one or two drinks but thats it.  Given the standing of two of the invited guests, I would leave it up to them to determine the comfort level, and to behave as they are expected to.  Other than that, a “what happens in Vegas” comment at dinner would most likely work.

Post # 9
11356 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I am a pastor’s wife, and I honestly would not be comfortable in a setting where the point of the rest of the evening would be drinking. Perhaps your sister and the others you mentioned may be more comfortable if there was a different type of activity planned, such as a spa day followed by an elegant dinner, without the after-party type atmosphere?

Post # 10
2416 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

From this post, I’m getting the idea that drinking probably isn’t/shouldn’t be a focal point of the evening? I would ask the girls to please refrain from photos – but, I wouldn’t go out and do anything that I don’t feel comfortable having on camera…

Post # 11
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

hmmm if you dont want pictures taken of whatever you are doing, maybe you shouldn’t be doing it? no judgement just saying.

Post # 12
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Don’t drink, problem solved.

Post # 13
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

My SIL is a teacher at a Christian private school. She doesn’t drink often, but every now and then she does. She makes it very clear that no one should ever tag photos of her drinking on FB. She just can’t have stuff like that on the internet. It’s not because she thinks drinking is wrong and wants to hide it (and I think she has every right to drink if she wants to, even if she is a kindergarten teacher), it’s because some of the parents of the students she teaches might get upset if they somehow found pictures of her drinking. It’s stupid that people get upset over what a teacher does on the weekend, but I think she has a right to decide what images of her go online to protect her job.

Likewise, even though these women may not believe that drinking in moderation or attending a relatively lively party with alcohol is wrong, some silly members of their churchs’ congregations might get their panties in a twist if they ever saw the pastor’s wife with a drink in her hand (or maybe even just next to people with drinks in their hands). It is more trouble than it’s worth to explain it was a bachelorette, and it’s none of their business anyway. They don’t need to refrain from drinking just because they are wives of pastors. At the same time, they have every right not to want pictures of them drinking put up on Facebook.

OP, I think it’s fine to ask people to refrain from taking photos, but I would probably leave it up to the individual to ask not to be photographed or tagged.

Post # 14
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

I have friends who are teachers and ask the same thing to not be tagged in pictures when they are out on the town. I think word of mouth at dinner would be fine:)

Post # 15
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think it’s up to those being photographed (or not) to say that they don’t want to be photographed.

Maybe take a ton of photos at dinner and say individually ask people not to take photos later.

I, too, have friends who are teachers who’ll say “don’t tag me in that” if we’re out and we take group photos.


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