(Closed) How to politely but compellingly communicate smartphone and FB photo wishes?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3182 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@philodendron:  I think the only thing you can do is request that photos not be taken during the wedding.  Once photos are taken they belong to the person who took them and they are free to post them as they wish.  

As far as the name thing goes, I completely respect your decision to keep your name.  However that’s a battle you are going to be facing for awhile, not just in photo captions on facebook.  I wouldn’t sweat it for this. 

ETA – Just to clarify about the name change, I would totally post something on the “Mr. and Mrs. Doe” thing like “What??? Who is this Mrs. Doe character???” or something stupid just to get the point across that you didn’t change your name.  

Post # 4
584 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I dont see why you cant have a note in the program and/ or a sign as u enter the church… I have seen signs of ppl saying no cellphone use or something along those lines… people should respect ur wishes

Post # 5
9 posts
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think it would be fine to put a note in the program, also, at my SIL’s wedding where I was Maid/Matron of Honor, the minister actually asked everyone to turn phones off before SIL arrived. We didn’t ask him to do this, he just hates phones during ceremonies, so perhaps you could ask the minister to say something similar?

Post # 6
1668 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

That’s impossible to control at a reception, but you can TOTALLY request that no one but the photographer take photos during your ceremony. At my church, that’s the rule. This will be harder to enforce if you’re not getting married in a house of worship, but it is something your officiant could mention beforehand. It’s something I prefer anyway, regardless of facebook. I just don’t want to walk down the aisle and see a sea of cell phones raised at me trying to get the perfect shot and no faces. People will understand.

Disable both your facebooks on the day of, people will be unable to tag you or post pictures on your wall even, that should help as well.

Post # 7
292 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would also google “unplugged weddings” it is actually getting to be a thing to ask people to not take pictures. I love when photogs take pics of everyone watching the ceremony, and it seriously irks me when you see 5 iPhones and 6 cameras in the frame. Fiance thinks it would be rude to ask people not to take pictures, so I’m thinking about putting a little camera icon where i’d like people to take pictures (the kiss, exchange of rings, just the general photo-op times anyway) so that people can still have their picture fix, but hopefully the photog can still get some shots without all the smartphones and cameras in the picture

Post # 8
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Perhaps communicate your wishes to a few close friends and family before the wedding and ask them to spread the word during the ceremony if they see the iphones getting out of control.  It will sound much better coming from Uncle Bob giving a friendly suggestion rather then a guest feeling like they are being given rules by you.

Post # 10
1570 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

This is tough. I tried my best to control who posts what of my engagement part. I told my FI’s fb addicted relatives to flat out not post pictures of me or Fiance. It was awkward but it got the job done. I posted a couple pictures later but they are of ME and my Fiance for MY FRIENDS to see…not random people. I ended up deleting my FB. People should respect your wishes and boundaries. 

Post # 12
1038 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I don’t think you can really ask your guests not to take pictures at the reception.  The ceremony yes, but not the reception. People like to take pictures.  Who knows, maybe they will get some amazing shots that your photographer missed. 


To be very honest, if I felt like I was being forced to not take my phone out at the reception I would be more inclined to do so out of spite. 

Post # 13
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I think what you have written is very polite. I’m not sure if you are looking for feedback but I will be honest in the hope that it helps. I think as a guest I would be confused… I can’t take photos in the ceremony, cake cutting,first dance…can I take them when you’re announced at the reception? During speeches? I think you may want to be careful about being too prescriptive or people won’t be relaxed, they’ll be worrying about snapping a pic at the wrong time. I’m also not sure you can tell them where to post the pics after..they own the photos so I think they can post them where they like. 

It’s a tough one cos this is obviously important to you…just remember people want to take photos cos they love you and are excited about your day, which I think is really nice!

Hope whichever way you decide works out well for you 🙂







Post # 14
9091 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I think it is rude to not allow guests to capture photographs for their memories. For some people taking photos is how they are part of an event or how they can keep the memories. What guest doesn’t want a shot of the bride and groom atthe alter or the bride in her dress etc. I think it is ridiculous to expect guests to fork out cash to a professional photographer to be able to have a photograph of your ceremony. By inviting guests to your wedding you are asking them to participate in your day and to some that means capturing the moments!

Also I have posted on threads like this before that a friend had an unplugged wedding and the photographer had all his equipment stolen and hence she has no photographs at all since none of the guests were allowed to take photos. Honestly most of the guests to her face were that is such a shame poor you but behind her back they were definately saying well that’s what you get!


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