Post # 1
Mr S & I have set ourselves a budget of $10,000 for the wedding (he needs a new truck and we would like to buy a house in the near future). We definately think we can do it as we already knew we wanted to have a small/ish wedding (I have a huge family). So the cut off has been set at 150 people.Luckily we live about 12 hours from the closest of our home towns & and our families live about 8 hours away from each other. Parents have been told and are understanding & we have agreed we were willing to do a "get together" for each side either before or after the wedding so that they may invite family members that are unable to make it and their family friends, co-workers, etc. that they wanted to meet us, if the parents wanted to. So now that the date and venue have been set, people are asking about where they should make reservations or what plans are who are not people we are going to be able to invite. I have not sent our wedding website link to anyone but the family, our closest friends we know we are inviting, and the attendants. How do I let people know that we have made this choice without making them feel like they are not important to us? Do I put a disclaimer on the website (people are passing it around by e-mail to other more distant relatives as well as family friends). I in no way want to hurt anyone’s feelings or be rude, and I am aware that they will obviously know when they don’t get an invitation. I am concerned about those who are asking about making reservations about 8 months out. Have any of you been in a similar situation? What did you do? How did people respond? Advice?
Post # 3
just say youre having a small wedding it’s the economy people will understand
Post # 4
I worry about the same thing too! But all the married people I’ve talked to have said not to worry. Unless you’re having a huge 500+ people wedding, people usually understand that you HAVE to make hard choices!
Post # 5
I don’t think it would be a bad idea to write a short note on your website telling people you are keeping it small. Also, since your parents are supportive of this small wedding, you should have them help spread the word. Parents can help break the news to their respective family members who think they will be invited. I wouldn’t worry too much about hurt feelings, like everyone else said, they’ll understand.
Post # 6
I like FlipFlopBride’s suggestion of enlisting your families to help you spread the word about the wedding. We found that just telling people that we were keeping the wedding small seemed to be sufficient. There were a few people who may have expected to be invited who were not, but no one seemed particularly put out and they all understood our situation. We paid for everything ourselves, so when we told people that, they usually understood.
Post # 7
We are having a small wedding too (120 people). I set our wedding website up so it is not in the public search and it’s password protected so only people I send the link and password to can access it. And I only gave it to people we sent save-the-dates to.
I have had to deal with a few people on Facebook sending me comments once my status changed to "engaged" about when the wedding will be and where, etc. I finally had to say, "oh we are having a small ceremony with family and close friends in blah blah blah". THey got the hint immediately and just said, "can’t wait to see pictures". So I would just try something like that.
It did amaze me though how many people came out of the woodworks once they heard I was engaged. Its like, "hey even though I haven’t talked to you in a million years, you’re inviting me to your wedding right?"
Post # 8
I don’t understand why those people would want to go to a wedding where they barely know anyone. The same thing happened to me on Facebook, too, but not everyone was as polite!
Post # 9
We put nothing about the reception on the website, and only invited some to the reception, all to the wedding. Reception invitations were seperate cards in the invitation, so not all got them.