(Closed) How to politely not ask for help

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
2622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Find a job you can give her that can be changed easly by someone you can trust, or doesnt matter if its not perfect.

Such as give her the items and the basket for the bathrooms to arrange and place in the bathroom. this way it doesnt really matter if its nciely organized, as long as its there. 

Or maybe ask that she hands out bottles of waters the volunteers?

Post # 4
1026 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Since you don’t want to cause issues I think there a few ways you could handle it.

1)tell her you’ve already prepped everything. For day of set up you could set up a “thank you mom” gift where she could get her nails or hair done, get a massage that sort of thing. If it worked out time wise maybe you or you and your mom could join her while you have friends or vendors set up.

2) find something she can do- things like providing lunch for those setting up (say something like you make the best food would you mind setting up/serving _______ for us). Also setting up things assembly line style- could she drop table clothes, prepacked bags with decor centerpieces or placesettings while someone else goes behind and actually dresses the table?

3) is there any family or friends coming into town for the wedding who she might like to catch up with? You could suggest a get together while u set up because you “understand how rarely_______ visits and you wouldn’t mind at all if they took some time to catch up.

P.s. sorry for any typos, my computer is on the fritz and I’m posting from my phone.

Post # 5
155 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Tell her that as MOG she is an honored guest and you don’t want her working on your wedding day. Tell her that you want her to relax and enjoy the day and that you have set up plans already taken care of.

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