(Closed) How to politely request NO gifts for getting married.

posted 6 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 2
Member
1746 posts
Bumble bee

I would just not register anywhere and if anyone asks say you would appreciate the gift of their company and that’s all that’s required.

But realistically it makes people happy to give gifts. We eloped and people still sent us gifts

Post # 3
Member
164 posts
Blushing bee

Perhaps you could politely request on the invite no gifts, or give guests an alternate option of donating to a charity instead?

I would enclose some writing paper, with a note attached stating the only gift you want is peoples presence, together with their heart felt note for your album. Perhaps then state any gifts received will be donated to X charity. 

Post # 4
Member
806 posts
Busy bee

I dont think anyone feels upset when getting someone a wedding gift, especially if the couple are close to them. I suggest you don’t sweat about it and dont mention it. If they bring a gift then thats ok. Its up to them really, and they would WANT to, why not? 

If youre really uncomfortable about it just dont open any registeries. But I dont think you should tell people NOT to get gifts. Dont feel ashamed or too modest about it. Gifting is entirely their decision and their intention. Accepting it is etiquette

Post # 5
Member
3526 posts
Sugar bee

We didnt register and still got lots of cards and a few boxed gifts- so not registering probably won’t result in no gifts.

What about asking everyone to submit a recipe (or a favourite Bible passage or love quote or something) to assemble in a book- so they still feel like they’re giving you something. It might make it clearer that you actually want no gifts/money. 

Post # 8
Member
4812 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

We had a mini-DW, with about 16 guests,  and did not want gifts as we thought it was enough they were going to be there. We did not register, and had the word go around that we did not want gifts.  We still got cards, and a few small meaningful gifts from some very close family,  which we accepted with much love for the thought, but for the most part it worked.

Post # 9
Member
391 posts
Helper bee

Frankly, it’s rude to tell guests not to give gifts. 

I find it odd you are “morally opposed” to receiving gifts. Some guests will not like showing up to a party empty handed. I personally would never show up to a party w/o at least a small gift for a couple. 

Given that your guests arent even invited to the wedding. I wouldn’t sweat it, don’t register, and if anyone asks let them know you don’t need anything you just want them to celebrate. 

Post # 10
Member
806 posts
Busy bee

Hmm…Is the reason you are opposed to recieving wedding gifts because you don’t want to trouble/stress people? 

Post # 11
Member
3146 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Just curious – why are you “morally opposed” to presents? What’s morally wrong about it? 

Post # 12
Member
3756 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

View original reply
antiweddingbride:  Write it on the invitation. You could say “In lieu of gifts, here is a list of charities you can make a donation to in the bride and grooms honour.”

It’s not rude to say no gifts.

Post # 13
Member
1056 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
antiweddingbride:  Don’t register. If people ask about it, tell them:

a.) Thank you for the generosity, but we have all we need, so no gifts or money please; or

b.) We would LOVE a handwritten note of well wishes from you to put in our album/scrapbook as a gift. Thank you!; or

c.) If after that people still give you a gift, either return it for cash and donate the money.

But really, this will probably be a nonissue because you didn’t invite anyone to your wedding. And most people don’t give gifts if they are invited/attending. 

Post # 14
Member
2056 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I am morally inclined to give a gift, so that could be a problem.

Are you have a reception? It’s unclear. If not, I wouldn’t worry.

If you are, you could just not register, say no gifts, and/or request that instead of gifts people donate to XYZ charity.

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