Post # 1
I’m very opposed to the idea of getting gifts for getting married. How can I make it SUPER CLEAR without being rude that we want absolutely no gifts or money? I know it makes people happy to do this, but I don’t want anyone spending money or feeling like they should to celebrate with us.
I was considering asking everyone for a handwritten note for a wedding album, which would be more meaningful to me than anything money can buy. We are not having guests at our wedding anyway but will be having a small dinner party after the fact.
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Post # 2
I would just not register anywhere and if anyone asks say you would appreciate the gift of their company and that’s all that’s required.
But realistically it makes people happy to give gifts. We eloped and people still sent us gifts
Post # 3
Perhaps you could politely request on the invite no gifts, or give guests an alternate option of donating to a charity instead?
I would enclose some writing paper, with a note attached stating the only gift you want is peoples presence, together with their heart felt note for your album. Perhaps then state any gifts received will be donated to X charity.
Post # 4
I dont think anyone feels upset when getting someone a wedding gift, especially if the couple are close to them. I suggest you don’t sweat about it and dont mention it. If they bring a gift then thats ok. Its up to them really, and they would WANT to, why not?
If youre really uncomfortable about it just dont open any registeries. But I dont think you should tell people NOT to get gifts. Dont feel ashamed or too modest about it. Gifting is entirely their decision and their intention. Accepting it is etiquette
Post # 5
We didnt register and still got lots of cards and a few boxed gifts- so not registering probably won’t result in no gifts.
What about asking everyone to submit a recipe (or a favourite Bible passage or love quote or something) to assemble in a book- so they still feel like they’re giving you something. It might make it clearer that you actually want no gifts/money.
Post # 6
I really am not traditional and am not even having a white dress or guests for this reason. I am morally opposed to getting wedding gifts and giving them. Though-the 20 people we might invite to a dinner party might know how much I hate all things weddings enough to not even attempt it. haha
Post # 7
oh-and i’m an athiest so no bible quotes for me. lol
Post # 8
We had a mini-DW, with about 16 guests, and did not want gifts as we thought it was enough they were going to be there. We did not register, and had the word go around that we did not want gifts. We still got cards, and a few small meaningful gifts from some very close family, which we accepted with much love for the thought, but for the most part it worked.
Post # 9
Frankly, it’s rude to tell guests not to give gifts.
I find it odd you are “morally opposed” to receiving gifts. Some guests will not like showing up to a party empty handed. I personally would never show up to a party w/o at least a small gift for a couple.
Given that your guests arent even invited to the wedding. I wouldn’t sweat it, don’t register, and if anyone asks let them know you don’t need anything you just want them to celebrate.
Post # 10
Hmm…Is the reason you are opposed to recieving wedding gifts because you don’t want to trouble/stress people?
Post # 11
Just curious – why are you “morally opposed” to presents? What’s morally wrong about it?
Post # 12
- Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom
Write it on the invitation. You could say “In lieu of gifts, here is a list of charities you can make a donation to in the bride and grooms honour.”
It’s not rude to say no gifts.
Post # 13
Don’t register. If people ask about it, tell them:
a.) Thank you for the generosity, but we have all we need, so no gifts or money please; or
b.) We would LOVE a handwritten note of well wishes from you to put in our album/scrapbook as a gift. Thank you!; or
c.) If after that people still give you a gift, either return it for cash and donate the money.
But really, this will probably be a nonissue because you didn’t invite anyone to your wedding. And most people don’t give gifts if they are invited/attending.
Post # 14
I am morally inclined to give a gift, so that could be a problem.
Are you have a reception? It’s unclear. If not, I wouldn’t worry.
If you are, you could just not register, say no gifts, and/or request that instead of gifts people donate to XYZ charity.
Post # 15
I don’t want any charity donations. I don’t want anyone spending money at all. I am morally opposed to the wedding industry and all that surrounds it including gifts. This is why i’m having a short civil ceremony, and the photographer will act as the witness. Frankly, I find it odd, rude and entitled to ask for gifts or register and expect people to send you money and new plate sets because you are getting married. Seems very selfish and not at all what marriage is about.