Post # 31
People are less likely to give gifts if you cater the dinner in your own home and/or you remove the word “wedding” from your invitation and just call it a celebration.
But if nobody is going to attend without the word “wedding”, like your 30th bday, then those people don’t really seem worth your time.
Post # 32
True that! lol I wish we could cater in our apt but we live in NYC so no space for that:) haha
Post # 33
Sounds like you will be surrounded by your nearest and dearest. They will get it. Think through what you really want, express that, then say, “Please. No gifts. This is our personal request.”
Honestly, I would follow that.
Post # 34
I find it a bit strange that you’re so focused on not being selfish, and criticizing other people for being selfish, and then you actively oppose charitable donations in lieu of gifts.
There are so many people in need, and giving to charity does nothing to benefit the wedding industry. If a few more children go hungry so that you can have the moral satisfaction of declaring your opposition to the industry, I don’t really see that as a big win.
Post # 35
People are going to tell you it’s impolite to mention gifts at all (even to say you don’t want them) but then those same people will tell you people will give you gifts anyway!
What I’ve seen done is people say something like “We have each lived on our own and are bringing all we need into our new home together! If you’d truely like to do something more to celebrate our wedding, please donate to your favorite charity and tell us about it! We’d love to hear about the causes that are important to you!”
Alternately, you could do something like requesting family recipes or date night ideas… like you might for a bridal shower.
Post # 36
Wait.. I just read all your updates. I think you’re stressing out about nothing. If you’re not inviting people to the ceremony and not having a reception why would they get you gifts? They probably won’t even realize you got married. I’m pretty sure this is a non-issue.