(Closed) How to politely respond NO to RSVP that adds extra guests

posted 5 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
2616 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

just tell them they cant because of the space is limited and you are at full capacity/

Post # 5
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I would speak to them since you’re going to see them at work you can’t hide behind an email.  Say something along the lines of …… our venue fit into our BUDGET and while i wish I could have your children attend … The space is not unlimited and you know FI’s family is ridiculously large and we are actually over the number we are supposed to have.  Maybe you guys could think of this as your date night and leave the kids at home. 

Post # 6
2224 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@Uptowngirl2857: agreeing with PP, just call them back and say “I’m so sorry I was really looking forward to seeing Billy Bob and Lil Joe but unfortunately, we’re at the venue’s maximum capacity of people and can only invite this many people. We’re really looking forward to seeing you, though!” or something along those lines.


Good luck!

Post # 7
8695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@asianyoushi:  umm exactly THIS. You arent being mean…there is simply no space

Post # 8
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

“I’m sorry, your invitation was for X people. Our space is limited and we cannot add more than is on the invitation. If you have already told whoever you invited to come, please call them and tell them they cannot.”

If people are mad about it… “I’m sorry, we are at capacity. You must have misunderstood the invitation, please correct your mistake. If you do not, I will have to.”

If they won’t… feel free to call up the uninvited guests and throw whoever invited them under the bus! “Oh, I’m so sorry so-and-so was specifically told we had a limited amount of seating available, they made a mistake when they invited you and I’m terribly sorry to have to rescind the invitation on their behalf.”

Post # 9
3968 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@distracts:  BURN. I hope 1) this doesn’t happen to me and 2) if it does I have the balls to do this haha

Post # 10
2616 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

if people try to bring uninvited guest you may have to hire a bouncer and have people get id to get in…

Post # 11
9954 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

You have to call them

And UNFORTUNATELY you do have to point out their Etiquette Faux Pas

“Hi we got your RSVP… and I notice that you have written in some additions beyond the (2) seats that we reserved for you as indicated on the Invite … Unfortunately our (budget / venue size) is such that we cannot accommodate extras.  So could you let us know if you and (xxx) will still be joining us in light of this fact and that you are now coming alone”

The You and XXX Part refers to whomever’s names were on the Original Invite.

Sorry but I have NO TIME for folks that are this gauche… and honestly sweetie you were super nice in asking folks if they needed a Plus One ahead of time so you plan accordingly.

Invite out WITHOUT a name…. job done.  One cannot add on whomever they please to an Official Invite / Wedding after the fact

Sadly, some folks need to be embarrassed into understanding this fact… it isn’t a Town Hall Meeting… it is a Wedding !!

Rant over.  Carry on.

Honestly RSVPs are the worst part of planning a Wedding… you will survive (lol, maybe pull all your hair out… but you will survive)

Good Luck (( HUGS))


Post # 13
2691 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

@distracts:  +1

I don’t think it’s rude when you went out of your way to specifically tell them how many seats were reserved for them.

Post # 14
9139 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@Uptowngirl2857:  Call them individually and apologize.  Tell them you have reserved X seats for their family due to your budget and space limitations and unfortunately you are unable to budge.  You were expecting X and X to attend, however you are unable to accommodate Y and Z.

Post # 15
3692 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Don’t mention the budget.  They’ll think it’s ok to bring the extra person if they offer to pay.  Explain it as a capacity/space issue.


Post # 16
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

“Hi! I think there must have been a misunderstanding. We only have two seats available for you. We’re hoping you’ll still be able to make it, but we understand if you must decline.”

Rinse, repeat.

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