(Closed) How to politely tell a bride you can't attend Bachelorette party

posted 5 years ago in Parties
Post # 2
Member
9519 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Unfortunately due to financial and work constraints I am unable to attend your bachlorette. I look forward to seeing you at your shower! Hopefully we can catch up when I am in town and you can tell me all about the party I missed.

Post # 3
Member
7638 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
coloRADo :  “Sorry but I can’t afford the time and money to attend the bachelorette”.

Any normal (non-bridezilla) won’t expect an interstate to travel for the bachelorette in the first place.

Also, how did the bachelorette organising pan out? Did you tell whoever was organising it, “I won’t be able to be there”. It will be more awkward if the girl(s) organising it have been assuming you’d be there.

Post # 5
Member
7580 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Just say “girl, you know I’d be there if I could, but I gots to pay the bills.” Maybe offer to have drinks when you arrive for the wedding. 

Post # 6
Member
7638 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
coloRADo :  If they assumed you’d be there without consulting you, you’ve done nothing wrong. However now that you’ve been told what’s happening, you should notify the organiser(s) as well as the bride.

Post # 7
Member
4496 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Since she’s your best friend, I would just lay it on her: “I’m so bummed, I’m going to miss being there so much, but I just can’t swing it… I can only do one trip and I obviously want it to be for your wedding!” Those are my words, obviously — alter to fit however you normally talk to her.

And then text her the night of the bachelorette to let her know you’re thinking of her, and ask her for a recap/pics/whatever the next day… she’ll be happy knowing that you truly care.

View original reply
theatrejulia :  I would not say this. The sentiment is correct, but it’s way too formal for a best friend. If my best friend said this to me I would cry. What am I, your boss, or your best friend? 🙂

Post # 8
Member
9519 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
stillme :  Guess all friendships are different. It is knowing your crowd

Post # 9
Member
2097 posts
Buzzing bee

So you’re already flying to the state twice, one for shower and once for wedding? Did she ever ask you if you could come? I asked my BFFS very gently if they’d be able to make a destination bach weekend and told them over and over I didn’t expect it. It ended up getting cancelled due to a fam emergency, but I never expected anyone to fly out of state beyond the wedding itself… Weddings are getting out of hand when everyone expects all the normal wedding stuff PLUS showers PLUS destination bach…. if she is your best friend you should have a phone conversation and just say you wish you could make all three shower/bach/wedding but you can’t. It is wrong of any bride to just expect it IMHO 

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