Post # 1
Everyone here seems to be awesome with suggestions, so I’m hoping there are a few people who could assist me.
What is the best way to go about telling a bride you can’t attend their bachelorette party? I am an out of state bridesmaid and this will be a destination bachelorette party. Already planned on flying to the location of the shower/wedding, but not sure I can get the time off of work/afford to do a trip for the bachelorette party as well. I consider the bride to be my best friend, but I’m nervous about bringing it up.
Post # 2
Unfortunately due to financial and work constraints I am unable to attend your bachlorette. I look forward to seeing you at your shower! Hopefully we can catch up when I am in town and you can tell me all about the party I missed.
Post # 3
“Sorry but I can’t afford the time and money to attend the bachelorette”.
Any normal (non-bridezilla) won’t expect an interstate to travel for the bachelorette in the first place.
Also, how did the bachelorette organising pan out? Did you tell whoever was organising it, “I won’t be able to be there”. It will be more awkward if the girl(s) organising it have been assuming you’d be there.
Post # 4
It was more of a ‘this is what we’re going to be doing’ kind of thing, and only recently received an email about it. Thanks for the advice.
Thanks for the advice! I know it sounds so simple, but it gives me anxiety.
Post # 5
Just say “girl, you know I’d be there if I could, but I gots to pay the bills.” Maybe offer to have drinks when you arrive for the wedding.
Post # 6
If they assumed you’d be there without consulting you, you’ve done nothing wrong. However now that you’ve been told what’s happening, you should notify the organiser(s) as well as the bride.
Post # 7
Since she’s your best friend, I would just lay it on her: “I’m so bummed, I’m going to miss being there so much, but I just can’t swing it… I can only do one trip and I obviously want it to be for your wedding!” Those are my words, obviously — alter to fit however you normally talk to her.
And then text her the night of the bachelorette to let her know you’re thinking of her, and ask her for a recap/pics/whatever the next day… she’ll be happy knowing that you truly care.
I would not say this. The sentiment is correct, but it’s way too formal for a best friend. If my best friend said this to me I would cry. What am I, your boss, or your best friend? 🙂
Post # 8
Guess all friendships are different. It is knowing your crowd
Post # 9
So you’re already flying to the state twice, one for shower and once for wedding? Did she ever ask you if you could come? I asked my BFFS very gently if they’d be able to make a destination bach weekend and told them over and over I didn’t expect it. It ended up getting cancelled due to a fam emergency, but I never expected anyone to fly out of state beyond the wedding itself… Weddings are getting out of hand when everyone expects all the normal wedding stuff PLUS showers PLUS destination bach…. if she is your best friend you should have a phone conversation and just say you wish you could make all three shower/bach/wedding but you can’t. It is wrong of any bride to just expect it IMHO