Post # 1
- Wedding: June 2012 - Hollins House at Pasatiempo, Santa Cruz CA
So…my side of the family are not really religious and neither is my husband. However, my MIL is SUPER catholic and always asks us to go to church. She even sent us listings for Catholic Church’s near us when we moved. Usually, we can keep her semi-happy by going to church with her on holidays once in a while, or for her bday. However, recently she’s been asking more and more, and she’s also been bothering my parent’s about it. My mom is having a super hard time saying no because she wants to be nice and maintain a good in-law relationship…I know they mean well and really want us to not go to Hell…I get it! But we really are not religious and have no interest. My husband has told his mom several times to back off, but she never does. Please give me some advice on how to politely and respectfully tell her to back off!
Post # 3
no need to repost just btt your threads.
Post # 4
Say that church isn’t for you, or that since you’re not religious you don’t feel comfortable going to church.
Post # 5
It’s a tough one; she’ll have to stop soon otherwise it will become a real source of annoyance to you. MIL needs to realise thatshe can have open arms and mention church once in a while but actually pestering people to go is not the way to go about things. I think you will have to politely explain that you understand her reasoning but that it is not for you and you would appreciate if she didn’t tell you to go.
Post # 6
I dont think it really requires any discussion.
I think you should say “No thank you” to any invitation.
Dont give her a reason that she can try to argue back. You dont need to justify, defend or explain your position especially since its already been explained to her.
Dont give her ammunition to continue the discussion. Just say “No thanks” smile and change the subject no matter how many times she asks you to go to church or about church.
Post # 7
ThreeMeers’ advice is great. Handle it the way you would any other discussion: “No thanks.” blhablahblah. “No Thanks.” While you change the subject in between. If she continues doing it, I think both of you just blatantly ignoring her as though she’s said nothing should really get the point across. Otherwise, you both make the mutual decision that it’s time to leave, hang up the phone, or if she’s with you, even be so rude as to say, “Well, we have X going on.” Keep your visits with her brief if she can’t stop proselytizing long enough to associate with her family.
Post # 8
@jeannes85: Well I don’t know about politely and respectufully, but my husband was in this situation with his mother in his early 20s (he only lived a few miles away from her). He really embarassed her by putting his hand in the holy water and screaming “it burns!!” and she hasn’t asked him to go to church since (he’s 38 now).