(Closed) how to practice both faiths

posted 4 years ago in Interfaith
Post # 3
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think the best advice would be for them to openly and honestly discuss their feelings/perceptions about each others’ religions and the expectations they have of each other. So…

  1. What faith will they raise children in (if any)
  2. Do they expect their partner to practice their faith (i.e. does she expect him to come to church with her, does he expect her to pray with him, etc.)
  3. I don’t know much about Islam – are their dietary restrictions? Is she willing to fit in with them?
  4. Are they both comfortable with what the other person believes – do either of them believe that the other is “wrong” or going to hell or anything like that?

Those are the questions that my husband and I discussed (I’m atheist, he’s kind of Catholic), and it seemed to work out pretty well!

Post # 4
Member
953 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@LadyElva:  +1 … and yes there are dietary restrictions in Islam but some people strictly adhere to them and some do not. But that is definitely something she would need to know. Actually all of those questions are great.

Maybe for a gift, you could get her this book “1001 Questions to Ask Before You Get Married.” FI and I have this book. I am buddhist and he is Catholic, and they have pretty much every question you could think of on religion as well as other topics. If you don’t really have time, I could post the questions (there are 28) but there’s a lot of other good stuff in the book.

Post # 5
Member
840 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@mrsedwardslpn:  It’s good that she is giving this a lot of thought before saying yes and/or getting married. A friend of mine is Jewish and forever was dating non-Jewish guys. She kept saying it wasn’t a big deal to her, that she wasn’t super religious so it would be okay, etc. But then she’d get into tons of fights with her BFs when they said they’d want to have a Christmas tree in the house, etc. So obviously it never worked out with any of these guys because she was sort of fooling herself – religion was more important to her than she thought. Now she’s engaged to a man who is Jewish and it’s soooo much better because they were raised the same way, they observe the same holidays, and are the same “degree” of Jewish, so it’s so much easier on their relationship. I’m not saying mixed-faith relationships can’t work, but you have to discuss so many things before deciding if it’s right for you, especially because so many traditions we take for granted have a religious basis. So even those who don’t consider themselves overly religious still want their children to go visit Santa at the mall, or get visited by the Easter bunny, etc.

Post # 6
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@mrsedwardslpn:  Hi Smile I’m hoping I can help. I am a christian and my husband is a muslim. Before we were married we talked about things that were important to us like 1) how we would raise our children, and how we would explain this to our families to have them support our decision.

2) Were we going to convert to the others religion? If not, understanding that going to church, and some religious holidays might be tricky. My husband goes to family get togethers, etc for my holidays and during ramadan (holiday where he fasts) I support him. Do i fast with him, no. When there are naming ceremonies (equilivent to baptism) i cover my hair and attend the ceremony, and he will bow his head when prayers are said at my family get togethers.

3) Dietary requirements: My husband can not eat pork. Is that something your friend would be willing to give up, or is her SO willing to compromise on having pork in the house?

4) Muslims are generally not supposed to live with animals (cats, dogs) because they need a clean area to pray.  Unless your friend is willing to have a separate area that the dog or cat isn’t allowed to go into, that is something to consider.They can have outside animals though.

5) Children: talking about how they would want to raise them would be a great conversation to have 🙂

 

Overall, my experience being married is wonderful! Both sides support us and after tackling hurdles (explaining to his family I wouldn’t convert, and having children) it has been very smooth and both families get along great. Plus, I have someone to spend the rest of my life with 🙂

Of course, everyone’s experience an be different. I wish the best for your friend!

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