(Closed) How to prevent an uninvited perso (my sister) from coming to my rehearsal dinner

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 46
Member
520 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

Glenda_the_good_witch:  “Quality family time in the slammer…” Oh, you have a way with words LOLOL

Post # 47
Member
419 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016 - Muhlhauser Barn

skunktastic:  I was going to suggest the same thing!

 

wecanalwaysdream:  can you move the location of the rehersal dinner and just not inform them?

 

EDIT:  glad they they aren’t coming and you have peace of mind. PLEASE PLEASE post pictures of your wedding for us to see 🙂 I feel like as a community we have been here for you to support you through this AWFUL experience with your parents and we all can’t wait to see you happily marrying your man <3 !!

Post # 48
Member
3332 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

So relieved to read your update.  Your parents are acting beyond childish! TBH – do you even want your father walking you down the aisle? It sounds like he doesn’t even want to? I wouldn’t want someone doing something out of forced/obligation and dreading it. I like the idea of you walking yourself, or your Fi meeting you half way.

Post # 49
Member
251 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Why did you even ask her to be you’re maid of honor in the first place if you both were never close ? I feel like that isn’t helping the situation for you and I think ignoring each other isn’t going to help. I would just tell you’re parents how you feel and what she has put you through so they can understand more. Show them texts from her and anything else that would make them understand you better . I’m sorry you’re going through this I have 3 sisters and I can’t imagine having a relationship as toxic as yours with any one of them. 

Post # 50
Member
8984 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

  vikingbride89:  

I think you are missing a whole lot of points here. This is a dreadful  saga, not just a little falling out than can be put right with    “I would just tell you’re parents how you feel and what she has put you through so they can understand more”

If thats all she  had to do , don’t you think she’d have done it?     

Post # 51
Member
1656 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

wecanalwaysdream:  I’m very sorry that you’ve had to deal with this.

You must be a very kind person for being happy with the terms and conditions they have opposed on you.  If I was in your shoes, I would uninvite your mum, dad and your sister.  Stuff anyone who would choose not to come because of this. 

I had a similar situation for my 21st.  My mum was furious that I invited my paternal grandmother who came over from another state.  My grandmother has been nothing but amazing to me my whole life and my mum doesn’t like her purely for the fact that she is the mother of my father.  My mother said she would come, however she did not.  The small amount of maternal family I have in this city also did not come as a result.  That is over 15 people I had catered for with food and drinks.

I was mortified that I had over 20 family members of FI’s there, and  only my grandmother, my great uncle and my second cousin from my family.  But you know what?  It was a great night, no drama and full of love and support.  My Fiance let his mother know what happened, who passed it on to anyone who was curious about my lack of family there, and they were all on my side.

None of those people will now be invited to my wedding, including my mum, and I am so happy and at peace with that.

Post # 52
Member
21 posts
Newbee

First off bee, sorry that you’re dealing with this in the run up to the wedding. I have a lot of respect for the rational, calm way you are dealing with the situation.

The only thing I wanted to add is that at the end of the day, even if it doesnt go to plan, and they make some attempt to ruin your fun – do not let them! Hold your head high, enjoy your day for yourself and let someone else (you mentioned your other two bridesmaids) deal with them. You deserve your day!

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