(Closed) How to prevent guests from wearing white dress to the wedding?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 47
Member
7467 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Who cares if a guest wears white? No one is going to get confused over who the bride is! no one is going to steal the spotlight even if their makeup is more elegant or their dress is more expensive. Bickering over what a guest wears or who is the most beautiful is just creating drama and stress for no reason at all!

Post # 48
Member
634 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@inspiration86:  I trust that my guests would have the sense not to wear white.  I’m not sure why you are so worried.  Have you seen guests wear white to a wedding?

Post # 49
Member
634 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Horseradish:  I totally agree with your statement!

Post # 50
Member
1399 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@Horseradish:  It’s so strange – in another thread almost 80% of the people commenting are talking about how rude it is and SO many Bees say they would have their mother or someone else ask the white-wearing guest to LEAVE!

I don’t actually believe this would happen – maybe it does in some extreme cases but how upset can you realistically get over someone wearing white?  What a waste of time and energy on your own wedding day.

So a guest wants to steal the spotlight (1/2 the time that is NOT the intention of the guest) who cares?  Let them try to get attention – move on.  Get some security with yourself and enjoy your wedding.

Post # 51
Member
3682 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Get over yourself. People will know who the bride is.

Post # 52
Member
7467 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I just can’t think of anything more trivial to get upset over!

Post # 53
Member
2055 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

LOL ….ohhhh my. 

Post # 54
Member
8686 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m sorry but I really dont think it’s that serious. People wore cream/ivory dresses to my wedding and nobody thought they looked even remotely close to me. This just seems….a little insecure to worry about it that much.

Post # 55
Member
997 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

If you’re worried that people won’t know who you are, I would suggest sending out Save-The-Date Cards with your photo on them.

Out of all the weddings I’ve been to I’ve never seen a guest wear white.

Post # 56
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee

@skippydarling:  One of my coworkers moonlights as a caterer at the premier catering company in the city.  He’s done more weddings than you could count, and has only twice seen the bride upstaged–both times were when people proposed during the reception.

Now, I’m pretty laid back, but THAT would piss me off.  

Not once has he come into work on a Monday and said “OMG, I did this wedding Saturday night and no one could tell who the bride was because this other chick was wearing white! The photographer started taking all these pictures of this lady, and everyone was lining up to do a money dance with her. AWKWARD!”

Though after reading this thread, I kinda hope someday he does have a story like that to tell. lol

Post # 57
Member
1399 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@SeaSalt:  I think the OP realizes that it’s not worth getting upset over.

 

A bride can’t control everything.  I once went to a wedding where a groomsman was extended a last minute +1 and he brought his new girlfriend who was a model.  Men could not stop staring at her….the bride hardly noticed and if she did….she was a class act about it and didn’t let it bug her (at least not on the outside.)

I was a guest at a wedding (FI was the best man) and I was told, by mistake, that it was a black tie wedding.  So I wore a champagne, full length beaded gown – not unheard of in my circle.   Well it wasn’t black tie – it was formal so I was really overdressed but I wasn’t able to change.  I was mortified and guests were coming up to me all night telling me how gorgeous the dress was….I wasn’t intentionally stealing the spotlight, hell, I wasn’t even stealing the spotlight but the bride didn’t care and she certainly didn’t tell me to leave her wedding.  I got some nasty looks from some bitchy bridesmaids but that’s more an indication of their low class than mine.

Who are these people doing that?  

Post # 58
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

i don’t know it at the time, but friends wife tried to wear a really short white lacy neglige-like dress To my wedding. She attempted to change into this between the church and reception, and walked into the hotel bar all snazzed up in her new outfit. One of the grooms men’s wives took one look at her and sent her back up to change. 

I am kind of disappointed that she didn’t wear it… She’s known for her skanky outfits and I am sure that one was great. However, it was super sweet of our friend to run interference. If you are that worried about this, maybe enlist a wardrobe police officer? 

but try not to sweat it. You will look beautiful, and all eyes will be on you, especially the most important ones… Your husbands!

 

 

 

Post # 59
Member
544 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@inspiration86: 

@Autumnsnow: 

Ugh…. THis was a HUGE topic for me before our wedding… I forced hubby to tell all his single friends to keep the sl*** at home, only serious relationships and also he had to tell them that their gfs/wives were not allowed to wear full white/creme outfits.

 

Still I had at least 2-5 (out of 230) chicks show up in white dresses. THose were some cheap cousins he has never met, invited by his father, who only invited most people to be polite. lol

 

Anyway, now looking back I say all those tears thinking about having some chick show up in white and all those angry thoughts before the wedding were not worth it. Now i look back and just think how desperate these chicks are.

 

Also I have to add that in the country we got married it, many people have never heard of the “no white dresses” rule.

 

Post # 60
Member
12805 posts
Honey Beekeeper

@juanita.kelly.9:  And HOW exactly do you know what the motive is or that they are “firing the first shot?”  If you read my earlier post, it’s obvious that not all etiquette authorities even subscribe to this rule anymore. Some do, some don’t.  A guest in white might not be slapping the bride in the face.  She might be oblivious or think the “rule” is passe or old fashioned because she  was reassured after looking it up in Emily Post.  What “consequences” does she deserve for that?

I’ve been to many weddings where guests or mothers of the bride are in cream or even white.  I personally would never wear white unless the bride specifically requested it, but it is no longer all that unusual around here.

Post # 61
Member
1399 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@weddingmaven:  +1  I’ve known lots of perfectly lovely ladies that wore white to a wedding. They were good, honest, lovely women so they deserve to be tossed out of a wedding for wearing white?  All of their good qualities are moot because of a white dress?

Says more about the bride than the guest if it comes down to that.

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