- 11 years ago
- Wedding: December 1969
So my future SIL is starting to play the waiting game. And by starting, I mean that people have been bugging her about when she’s getting engaged since before we got engaged (my Fiance is 3 years older than her). She’s still with her high school boyfriend, who is a nice guy, and they are planning on getting married eventually.
She’s made a couple comments recently that make me suspect she is starting to get upset and antsy. I was in the same position at the exact same age (year and a half out of college, had been dating for awhile, couldn’t get married for at least 1.5 more years, etc.) She’s said that they can’t get married for awhile (he was unemployed for awhile and just got a job within the past year and they both still live at home) and so she isn’t expecting to get engaged anytime soon, but she says it the way we all say/said it.
How do I reach out to her and let her know that I know how she feels and I’m here for her? Some of her family members have started to make pushy and inappropriate comments (i.e. how are we going to get Boyfriend to propose? or “do you have a ring yet?” etc.) and I know how totally horrible that feels, and so I’ve been telling people privately to just back off and let them decide when to get married, but I really want to let her know that I’m there if she needs somebody to talk to, because it helped me when a friend told me that I wasn’t crazy and she understood how I felt. It did not help when other friends told me I was a pathetic loser.
So has anybody helped you guys out in waiting? Have you gotten any good advice? I always found ‘just be patient’ to be the most worthless thing anybody said, and I refuse to tell her that.
Also, she is one of my bridesmaids and she is the Maid/Matron of Honor for her friend who is getting married in the spring, so she definitely is somewhat immersed in weddings but I wonder whether I should not talk to her about wedding stuff unless she brings it up…I enjoyed talking wedding stuff while I was waiting, but I don’t want to seem like I’m rubbing it in.