(Closed) How to reduce guest list

posted 3 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
1495 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

niknik2304 :  No, I think you either invite all of the kids or no kids at all especially if they have the same relationship to you (cousin’s kids from your side and his side) if the kids from his side were nieces and nephews I think that’d be more appropriate than what you’re trying to do.

Post # 3
Member
1043 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I think you have to treat all the cousins equally, regardless of how close they are. Either invite all the kids, or don’t invite any of the kids. Presumably the ones who don’t actually know you will be less likely to attend.

I can only think of two possible exceptions:

1. If you’re on actively bad terms with some of them, and have cut them out of your life with the intention of not seeing them again. But I don’t think general lack of closeness is a reason to exclude cousins or their immediate family.

2. If you have some children who are actually in the wedding (junior bridesmaids, flower girls, etc.), you might be able to get away with including them and no other children.

Post # 5
Member
3332 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

You do not have to invite all the cousins, nor treat all their kids the same. You *may* deal with some hurt feelings however if anyone asks you can use the ‘theyre from out of town’ excuse if you want.

Invite FIs cousins and their kids. Don’t invite your cousins if youre not close to them. Or invite them without their kids.

Post # 6
Member
1058 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

I do think that if you invite the children of your FI’s cousins, then you have to invite the children of your cousins.

I don’t think you definitely have to invite your cousins, though. If you haven’t seen them in years, don’t communicate with them, and they barely recognize you, then I don’t believe you are under any obligation to invite them. I suppose if they are still close with your parents or your siblings, you may want to consider inviting them, but otherwise I don’t think you should feel obligated to invite them.

If you do feel that you should invite them, though, I think you also have to invite their children (if you’re inviting your FI’s cousin’s children). Even though you are not close with them, if you choose to invite them then they are your guests and you should treat them the same way as the rest of your guests, regardless of how close you actually are.

ETA: I just reread your OP and saw that your FI’s cousins are from out of town. That changes things, I think. It makes sense to invite just the children of out of town guests. They’re travelling for your wedding and it’s a lot more difficult for them to leave their children at home in that case.

Post # 7
Member
506 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I’m in the same situation.  I originally didnt want children at our wedding outside of my nieces/nephews.  He only has cousins and friends with kids so not the same level. 

After a huge disagreement with Fiance’ about it, now I think I want to say that only people from out of town can bring their kids.  It’s a lot harder to find someone to watch your kids for an entire weekend than for 1 night.  You aren’t required to invite your cousins that you aren’t close to.  It’s your wedding.  Just be ready for any complaints later.  (I feel some coming my way.)

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