How to relax about TTC?

posted 1 year ago in TTC
Post # 16
Member
1840 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

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lovingbee34 :  Just remember that you were not having a “real” cycle on birth control.  Birth control typically pushes you into an artificial 28 “cycle,” but it isn’t even really a cycle because you aren’t ovulating.  So now, after only 3 months, your body hasn’t really had time to tell you what your regular cycle will be.  I think you are smart to use OPKs so you can follow along with your body and know what it is doing during this process.

I know I am capable of getting pregnant fairly easily (although I have miscarried before).  Even then, it can take some time.  You are really rolling the dice every month.  For my current pregnancy, it took 4 months.  I still felt like I was super lucky to have it happen that fast.  If you spend any time around TTC boards, you will see that tons of people take much much longer than that, even those without any obvious infertility issues.

Post # 18
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1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

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lovingbee34 :  You sound like me the cycle I got pregnant. I was concerned. I’m only 28, healthy, why am I not pregnant?! I was pregnant that cycle and am now 19 weeks. Keep in mind it can take a while. It took nearly a year for my cycle to get normal after BC. 

Post # 19
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2177 posts
Buzzing bee

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lovingbee34 :  Yeah, you need a glass of wine way more than you need more drugs. Again, nothing is wrong with you right now. One of the side effects of coming off of birth control is that it takes time for your body to readjust. Adding more meds to the mix will negatively impact your goals, not help them. You need to settle down and give your body the patience it needs. It can take up to 6 months to regulate after coming off hormonal birth control.

Post # 20
Member
20 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2018

So , I was on birth control for 15 years . I stopped taking them on and off throughout the years. I officially got off birth control 6 months ago and got my BFP this month . I would say just continue to track if thats what makes you feel comfortable, if it stresses you out take a break. Just try to have fun as it may take a while.

To answer your other question, no my partner wasnt taking any vitamins ..neither was I.

 

 

Post # 21
Member
1471 posts
Bumble bee

I would seriously still class getting pregnant on cycle 3 or even 4 as ‘right away’. Don’t you realise how quick that is? 

Spend some time reading the infertility boards and connect with the scope of different conception timelines out there to gain some perspective. 

Like PPs, I would take a break from tracking. It perpetuates the cycle of obsession/preoccupation. 

Post # 22
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7161 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

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lovingbee34 :  You need a whole entire pack of WOOOO-SAAAAAAH, OP.

Take some breaths and relax. It sounds like you are used to attacking your goals and muscling them into submission (which makes sense, that’s how we are taught to be in order to succeed) but what you most need to do right now is find about 40 different ways to calm yourself down because you are likely generating a lot of stress hormones and if your body feels that you are constantly stressed, it will prioritize focusing on THAT over focusing on getting pregnant. (I say all of this as a fellow tightly wound person who is constantly working on my own woo-sah).

Is there any way you can reframe your thinking on this process? Like manners- once you learn them, they’re just the framework for how you do things, not something requiring constant focus. Can you get your basic, sustainable fertility habits in place- your vitamins and a few reasonable practices and then do them without much examination or thought while you focus on enjoying sex with your husband for a while? Give yourself a number of cycles of just fucking and loving and seeing how things go? Otherwise, you are going to be having the two week wait torture window each time and getting more and more stressed each cycle and heading in the opposite direction of where you want to be.

Post # 26
Member
1471 posts
Bumble bee

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lovingbee34 :  Man, it’s really hard. I’ve been there. And people definitely like to shout about ‘got pregnant first time trying!’ and that is DEFINITELY not the norm. 

I hope this is your cycle. I conceived my twins on cycle 3 and at the time it felt like I’d been at it for ages. They are now 18 months old now and looking back I can see how crazy that was – it happened REALLY quickly. Seriously, we’d been married 10 months and were already a family of four! 

The charting, temping and tracking definitely slowed time down, being that highly focused every single day. 

Post # 28
Member
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: City, State

I’m also in the camp of try to enjoy the process without worrying before you have to ! I believe it’s been proven that stress affects fertility! I know you probably have heard this a million times but you are still very young at 26 and 2-3 months is completely normal especially coming off bc !! For what it’s worth, I’m 31 and it took us 14 months and I’m now at 18 weeks 🙂 just some perspective for you! Good luck in the ttc journey 

Post # 30
Member
1789 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - California

This is such a hard topic. To be honest, I never really only felt relaxed when we were not trying, meaning no timing around ovulation, no temping, nothing. The result was I did get pregnant within a year or so (I wasn’t tracking so I have no idea how many cycles I actually had, but I know it was at least 8 months), but I miscarried. I am now pregnant again (found out yesterday) and this happened after 5 cycles of stressful TTC with timing, temping, charting, you name it! I am 35 so I think that added to my stress level. It’s a stressful process for anyone though, no matter your age. I guess I don’t really have advice other than to say just try to be optimistic and hope for the best. It always feels like a super long time when you are TTC and it is stressful. If meditation or yoga or other relaxation techniques might work for you, go for it and hopefully it will help! For me, there really wasn’t anything I could do to relax and take my mind off of TTC over the past 6 months or so since my MC. I hope it at least helps to know that you are not alone in feeling like it’s taking a long time and in being stressed about it. I think a lot of us go through that and it’s unfortunate, but for some of us it’s part of the process and you can’t necessarily help how you feel or successfully distract yourself.

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