- 4 years ago
- Wedding: June 2014
My sister has a friend who is very strange and a bit mentally unstable, but generally very sweet, and because she made us a cake for our rather impromptu engagement party last year, I felt obligated to send her a save-the-date and invitation. I really don’t care if she comes, but I want to be relatively kind to her.
If you’re experiencing deja vu it’s because when I sent out save-the-dates she asked if she could bring her boyfriend-I-guess as a date, and hoping they’d break up permanently in the mean time, I said to ask again when we sent out invitations.
I’ve never met the guy she wants to bring, but from everything I’ve heard about him, he sounds like a total douche nozzle. She’s obsessed with him and allows him to walk all over her, and he uses or ignores her depending on what works for him that day. And she worries about people using her, a couple months ago she accused my sister of using her (which is the furthest thing from the truth) and eventually got over that but they aren’t very close any more. And at one point I had told her that I thought her guy didn’t treat her right, and at some point after that she sent me a Facebook message saying I was right about him. But they’ve since gotten back together.
I sent her a save-the-date and when I asked my sister if I should invite her she said “up to you” so I did. And after receiving it she sent me a Facebook message saying “Hey, can I bring X as a date to your wedding and reception?”
For the reasons stated above, and the fact that we’re paying something like $150/plate, the answer is hell no. You can say I’m being a bridezilla for asking her to drive 2 hours all by herself to come to my wedding, but she wouldn’t be the only one, and it’s an invitation, not a summons, and I’d sort of rather she didn’t come. Please don’t try to change my mind about letting her bring that jerk of a date, because I’m not going to. And for the record, as far as I can tell, he’d be the only SO not living with or engaged or married to someone we know, so even if you disagree with not giving +1s to single people, at least I’m being consistent.
So this is the reply I’ve written. I feel like it’s missing something at the end. Anyone have any suggestions?
I’m sorry, but due to the large amount of family we’re inviting, we’ve had to severely limit the amount of +1s we’re inviting, and won’t be able to accommodate A. I understand if this impacts your decision on whether you will come, so you can take some time to mull it over; we don’t need all our RSVPs until May 28th.
I also don’t want to put the idea in her head that if she can get him to move in with her he’s invited. And my sister says she’s terrible with money and often broke at the end of the month (our wedding is June 28th) so there’s a part of me that’s worried that if she RSVPs yes she’ll cancel at the last minute. So basically, I’m hoping she’ll decline, but I want to be as nice as possible and not pressure her into it.