(Closed) How to respond?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
4324 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@lola blue: Create a “honeyfund” registry. My husband and I did– you can structure it in one of two ways:

First, you create a list of items that you would like to have or activities you would like to do on your honeymoon, and you allocate a dollar amount to it. For example it might look like this: “Romantic dinner for 2: $100” or “Nice bottle of champagne for hotel suite: $50” People can click on the item they want to “gift” you for your honeymoon, and they either enter in through pay-pal, or can just write a check for that amount to be given on the wedding day. OR, the site will have them enter an arbitrary amount of their choosing, plain and simple.

While the items listed under option 1 aren’t linked to anything in particular (read as: you get to spend that money however you choose), your guests will think they’ve splurged for something really nice and special for you, but you still get to walk away with cash, while using a traditional registry format. I think honeyfund is a nice alternative for the couple who already has everything they need on the home-front. Good luck.

Post # 4
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

We are doing the same thing. I’m not sure if people agree with my answers, but we have been telling our friends along these line when people asked us where we are registering.

1. “No, we are not registering anywhere” – and leave it that way.


2. “We don’t expect any gifts, but if you still want to get us something, cash is appreciated” -if people offered to get us something.

I’m curious what we will get or won’t get. One reasons we don’t registered because we don’t need anything and the items we want are too expensive for people to buy. So, if we have enough can gift, we can put it toward big ticket items.

Post # 5
108 posts
Blushing bee

The honeyfund is a good idea–you could also direct them to a few charities that you support for them to make a donation in your honor.  Asking for cash or checks outright is pretty rude, so avoid that, even if that is what you would really prefer.  I have heard of people setting up small registries so that they can return smaller items to exchange for a larger item that they actually want/need but I am not sure about how appropriate that would be.

Post # 6
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

It sounds like you weren’t comfortable requesting money, so I would say something like “We have lived together so long, we already have all the stuff we need, so we didn’t register for the wedding.”  It implies a cash gift without asking for it.

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