(Closed) how to respond to “have you registered?”

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
828 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would say “Thanks for asking, we have chosen not to register since we have a home together.” If they can read between the lines they’ll know that you aren’t looking for dishes.

Post # 4
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I like Zusie‘s wording. People should understand to give you cash 🙂

Post # 5
46664 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Zusie:  ditto!

Post # 6
1575 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Zusie:  Excellent!

Post # 7
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I might just flat out ask for monetary gifts. Many people who already live together still register so I am not sure how this could be interpreted as covertly asking for money?

Post # 10
967 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

We registered for a few items….mainly small ticket items (well under $50 for each item) and a few larger ticket ones (just in case anyone is feeling extra generous..lol…but totally don’t expect them)….So that our friends and family have options….I don’t want people to feel that they have to “pay for their plate”….so they could buy something small on our registry instead…


I haven’t yet been asked about a registry, but it is on our wedding website….


My sister isn’t registering at all for her wedding….she said she didn’t expect gifts from people and only wanted “best wishes”…but then said “But people like you and your Fiance could give us money to help with our honeymoon”…um, people like us?  WTF is that supposed to mean?

Post # 12
2 posts
  • Wedding: March 2012

I just explained to people that we have not registered, and when questioned further I just explained: “after living alone for 9 years each, we’ve both accumulated pretty much everything one would need to start a home”.  

Of course if someone does break down and get us a physical gift, we will be gratious, but I’d prefer to get money that we can spend on something we really want, or want to do>

Post # 13
319 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

A friend of mine told me she only wanted best wishes so I made a donation in her name. If she had actually wanted money, I hope she would have told me that.

Post # 14
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

vmec – I had the same situation and if people pressed after I told them that I had no registry because I didn’t have room for anything (that was our situation) then I just told them that I would love a card from them.  If they insisted that they wanted to give more then a card, then I was honest and told them that a gift card or monetary gift would be more then appreciated in that case.

Post # 15
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

It’s a tough one! My cousin and his fiance didn’t register. I don’t think they just want cash though. It’s strange! They are having a “Kitchen Shower”.. where all the gifts are kitchen supplies. But they didn’t register because my cousin said:

“Jess wants some things that are 200-300 (like a kitchenaid mixer), and then people have to go in on a group gift, so we aren’t registering”

Does this make sense to anyone else?! LOL i thought it was pretty weird! 🙂

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